That’s right, kids. July 4th is just around the corner, so I’m dipping. Strawberries, that is. Honestly, is anything better than a dipped strawberry?

Don’t answer that question. Instead, think about how beautiful these will be at your holiday celebration, and how fancy they look. Especially think about how little time they take to make! About .02 seconds, really.

Have I mentioned that headlines are getting scarier? They really are. And through them all, I see one constant theme: fear.

People are afraid of the unfamiliar. When that happens, they can respond in one of two ways: they can educate themselves and get a realistic handle on the way things work, or they can hate without reason. Sadly, the masses often choose hate instead of understanding.

I realize that July 4th is, as I mentioned earlier, a low-key holiday that’s mainly meant to be fun. But this year, I feel as though it’s a much more thought-provoking day. The concept of having rights and freedoms only works if we use our privileges for good and not evil. Lately, some people have used the concepts our country was built upon as an excuse to exclude, or to hurt others. It’s unbelievably sad.

Rather than use the holiday as an excuse to get political, I just want to use it as a chance at introspection. Let’s really take some time and think about how we view our role in the world. Do we want to be the country that is known for increasingly frequent mass shootings? That gets into the habit of seeing a mythical past (which was actually quite full of racism) as a time when America was supposedly “great?” That sets a standard of fear for anyone who might not be a falsely construed prototype of an American?

This July 4th, I want to spend some time thinking about what’s been happening in our increasingly vitriolic and angry nation, and try to generate some hope that things will turn around soon.

I will also eat dipped strawberries, of course.

When people make dipped treats, they often use Candiquik or candy melts. That’s a fast way to operate, but I prefer to use real chocolate. It tastes better. So for these, I melted Ghirardelli white chocolate chips with some canola oil, dipped the strawberries, and covered them with patriotic sprinkles. It’s fast, easy, and totally delicious. It’s also pretty healthy!

As we approach our nation’s biggest patriotic holiday, I hope we all have a lot of fun. But I also hope we think about the way we should be living and treating others, because that’s a lot more important than anything else — even dessert.

With Memorial Day coming, everyone’s making barbecue and picnic plans. Well, everyone except me. I tend to forget all about it until the last second or just shrug it off, figuring that if worse comes to worst, I’ll just throw some meat on a fire and be done with it.

But for you lovely people who plan ahead, think about this delightful no-bake dessert for your get-together time. These bars are made of egg-free Oreo cookie dough and topped with thick white chocolate fudge.

This time of year, I really need the extra sugar hit. Our students are in standardized testing for weeks on end, and the resultant disrupted scheduling can be challenging when you’re in the same classroom with the same kids for several hours on end. I get so hungry, too. And I need to use the bathroom.

One of the golden perks of summer is that I can use the bathroom whenever I need to. 10 months out of the year, I hold it in. After all, a teacher can’t leave her students unattended. But for those two months, the bathroom is actually a possibility. Sometimes I go there just because I can, not because I need to.

TMI? Yeah, well, try being a teacher. We’re not allowed to pee. We’re also not allowed to be considered experts in our own field. They hire people to make policies that make very little sense instead, people who have never taught a day in their lives. Good system, y’all.

Here’s an analogy for you: how about if we send a bunch of people who have eaten food into all of the restaurants in America so they can make policy decisions about how those restaurants should be run? I’m predicting a lot of grease fires, some small floods, and some very sub-par pastries.

The moral of the story: just because you’ve gone to school? Yeah, means nothing. You have no idea how a school runs or, even better, how it should. That might sound harsh, but the truth hurts.

I’ll soften the blow a little bit with these Oreo fudge cookie dough bars. The bottom layer is a thick cookie dough filled with cookies and cream flair, and a simple stovetop fudge (no candy thermometer needed!) rounds out the perfect topping.

I can’t teach everyone how to fix the education system, but I can give them nice treats to make things seem better. That’s not a bad way to start a week!

There’s the convenience factor, sure. Paying someone to make dessert is a lot easier than rolling up your sleeves and doing it on your own, but on Valentine’s Day, we like to pull out all the stops and make the treats ourselves. So why pay a lot of money to an expensive chocolate shop for dipped Oreos?

These are just as good as the ones you pay for, if not better. See, they’re made with Double Stuf Oreos, which have more filling. They’re also blinged out for Valentine’s Day. There’s a video tutorial below, so enjoy!

Valentine’s Day is definitely a matter of some contention at my house. Kenny has always held the position that it’s a “Christian holiday” (his words, not mine), and since we’re not a Christian household, we should therefore be exempt from celebrating.

I’ve told him that I find his point of view to be highly inaccurate, and even did some research about the St. Valentine in question. There were apparently several priests of that name back in the day, the most famous one being the guy who agreed to marry young couples against the law and got killed for it. However, most sources agree that the holiday is not necessarily named after him.

Furthermore, a Pagan holiday known as Lupercalia occurred around the same time of year back then, and it was some kind of agricultural celebration. The holiday also had ties to fertility and coupling ceremonies, and rumor has it that the church decided to add more respectability to the occasion by naming the holiday after a saint.

Still, all of these are theories, not fact. I read at least five other accounts about how V-Day began, not to mention the theory that it mainly gathered steam after American capitalism saw it as a way to make some money.

Whatever the real story is, the holiday is so far removed from any roots that I persist in telling Kenny that we should celebrate the day. It’s about love, and I’m all for getting chocolate and a dinner out in the name of old-fashioned romance. He can just suck it up and go along for the ride, and so far, that’s pretty much what he’s done. He’s one of the good ones.

I’m all about the homemade food gifts on Valentine’s Day. Last week, I showed you how to make bark. Here’s how to make dipped Oreos!

See, it’s not hard at all. The important thing is to let the chocolate drip through the fork tines so that you don’t have an enormous pool of chocolate on your parchment paper. The drizzle and sprinkles on top can be in whatever pattern or color you desire!

Whether or not any of us can figure out how Valentine’s Day started, let’s keep our eye on the priorities: lots of chocolate. Then it’s a day that even the biggest hater can get behind!

This is the chocolate month, the time when everyone forgets their healthy resolutions, turning straight to the chocolate lava cake. It’s only human nature. We can’t be deprived for extended periods.

So if you’re gonna do the chocolate, make bark. It’s a cheap and easy gift for a loved one, or you can eat it all yourself. I have a video tutorial below plus a step-by-step recipe, so keep reading!

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but 95% of all diets fail. America is a country ruled by diets and a thriving fitness industry, and yet we’re in a health crisis. How is that possible?

Simple, really. When you try and sustain impossible behavior, it all comes crumbling down. Dieting at its core is all about the word “no.” Diets focus on what you can’t eat: dairy, or carbs, or sugar, or anything a caveman didn’t eat, or all of the above. Who wants a voice in their head constantly telling them that what they’re doing is wrong?

Seriously, if people talked to one another the way that their inner voices talk to them sometimes, they’d get slapped. We’ve somehow been taught that self-shaming isn’t just acceptable: it’s desirable. That, my friends, is a load of garbage. When did deprivation become a virtue? When did dieting become a way of life? Because here’s the thing. You ready?

If you’re dieting all the time, it’s probably not working. Seriously. It’s one thing to live with a healthy mindset and goals and quite another to base life upon what you will not let yourself have, and to constantly go back and forth with those arbitrary rules. I’m not a fan.

Message? Stop dieting. Start eating bark. Always works for me!

Bark is easy to put together, makes a great gift, and can be customized to any holiday or occasion. It takes just a few minutes (plus a half hour of chill time) to get it going. Take a look!

When all’s said and done, wouldn’t you rather spend time engaging in self-love and acceptance? Denial is never good, in life or in food. So say yes to yourself today, and say yes to some bark!

About two months ago, I spied patriotic M & Ms at Target. So I bought them, hid them from Kenny, and forgot about them. Until today. If you want a bar that’s as close as possible to white to set off the glory of these holiday-themed M & Ms, this white chocolate base is perfect. It has the consistency of a brownie but it’s made with white chocolate. Holy stars and stripes forever!

After spending part of last week in Lancaster doing summer things, I’ve also switched into my warm-weather wardrobe. All I need to do is find more petite maxi dresses. Do you know how hard it is to find those? Needles in haystacks, my friends.

Maxi dresses are gorgeous, comfy, and great alternative for those of us who aren’t crazy about putting aging thighs on display in shorts. The problem with them is (tall girls, feel free to read ahead) that they’re all made for people who are at least 5 foot 6, usually more. I know that because as a regular wearer of three-inch heels, the regular maxi dresses still drag on the ground a bit. I’m five foot two.

The same problem exists with pants, but to a lesser degree. Plus, I don’t find pants to be as appealing as loose, flowy maxi dresses. Especially not when it’s 90-plus degrees out. So here’s my plea to all clothing stores: please, in the name of all that’s summery and fresh and cool, make more maxi dresses for short women. You’ll be glad to not see our pasty legs. I promise.

While I don’t aim for pale white legs in the summer, I do like white when it’s in chocolate. Then it’s fine. Was that segue a bit rough for you? Well, I tried.

These bars are thick and fudgy in that white chocolate kinda way. They’re very simple to make: all you do is (carefully) melt white chocolate with butter in the microwave, mix in a few other ingredients, stir in the M & Ms, and bake. It’s that simple. As simple as throwing on a maxi dress.

Well, almost as simple. Over my time as a baking blogger, I’ve come to realize that simplicity is the first thing I look for in desserts. Baking desserts is a labor of love, and love shouldn’t be hard. Every now and then, it’s okay to spend a lot of time on something. But as a rule? Nope.

And fashion is the same. Basics can be best, as long as they have a bit of funk or flair. My maxi dresses work great as long as they don’t drag on the floor and have a bit of fun detail. And these M & Ms add just the right detail, and flair, to these simple bars.

You see, my husband and I had to have margaritas last night. I knew at the time it wasn’t going to feel good this morning. I knew it. But I went ahead anyway. And I know that my past self isn’t sorry, and my future self won’t be either. But man, my present self is a little ticked off.

On the plus side, we made it through the holiday with a minimum of our usual string of disasters, with the exception of my son getting sick once again. What is it with my child? Does he enjoy curling up on the couch with his stuffed animals and conking out? Actually, that sounds pretty good right about now. Or anytime, really.

Morning after woes aside, this strawberry cream pie reminds me of why I love this time of year. Dads have it best. They always get mid-June for Father’s Day, when fruits are at their peak and you can make delicious desserts like this.

Moms get May, which isn’t nearly as nice. I guess it’s better than February. But this pie would actually work really well on Mother’s Day, too.

Or any holiday! To be honest, I made this for my colleague’s birthday, not for Father’s Day. And I really wanted to take a picture of a slice, all dripping with delicious filling. Because there is an amazing creamy layer underneath those strawberries composed mainly of…wait for it…cream cheese. And heavy cream. Hel-lo!

But I literally turned around to take care of something and when I came back to my office, the pie was gonesies. Totally and completely obliterated. I never even got to try a slice! Though everyone told me that it was super amazing and I know they’re telling the truth. I work with teachers. We’re brutal.

It’s a pretty easy pie to make and it looks beautiful. Don’t forget to melt the white chocolate on the crust and drizzle more on top! It adds a certain panache.

Okay, I’m gonna go get a Tylenol. My evening ended with a mild head injury after the margaritas. Stupid car door.

But hey, enjoy the pie! Don’t eat it all while I’m gone.

Ingredients:

• 1 refrigerated pie crust (I used the Immaculate Baking brand)
• 1 cup white chocolate chips, divided
• 2 packages cream cheese, softened to room temperature (I used low-fat)
• 3 tablespoons heavy cream
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 1 and 3/4 cups powdered sugar
• 2-3 cups sliced strawberries (fresh, not frozen!)

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Grease a pie plate with cooking spray.

Press the pie crust onto the pie plate, working the pastry up the sides. Bake for 12-14 minutes until golden.

Sprinkle half of the white chocolate chips on the crust. After two minutes, spread the melted chips all over the crust. Put the crust in the refrigerator to allow the white chocolate to harden for about 20 minutes.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the cream cheese, heavy cream and vanilla until the mixture is smooth. Slowly add the powdered sugar, beating after each addition, until all the powdered sugar is mixed in.

Spoon the filling into the crust, smoothing it out evenly. Arrange the sliced strawberries in a pattern over the filling.

Take the remaining white chocolate and heat it in the microwave until melted, about one minute. Stir and then immediately drizzle the white chocolate over the strawberries.

Chill the pie for anywhere from three hours to overnight. Serve cold, and keep it covered in the refrigerator when not serving.

Well, these aren’t cake. They’re bars. But really, who cares? It’s all about the crumbs, baby! And this simple recipe has crumbs upon crumbs to the point that they’re spilling out of the pan and straight into your mouth, where they melt as you sigh in ecstasy.

Before I keep using the word “crumbs,” let me explain how this magic happens with little effort on your part.

See, this recipe uses yellow cake mix. Yep, it’s a cheat! And quite a good one, I might add. Whipping this up takes ten minutes or less, and what better way to use up a box of cake mix that has been sitting in your pantry for too long because your husband bought it by accident when you told him you wanted all-purpose flour?

Sorry, sorry.  I got carried away again. It happens. Ahem. Back to the yumminess. See how I couldn’t stop the crumbs from falling onto the plate? That’s a good thing, y’all.

Basically, you mix the quick oats into the yellow cake mix, add melted butter, and make crumbs. Some of them go in the bottom of the pan for crust, and the rest of them get crumbled on top. You can pick your filling. I chose strawberry jelly and white chocolate chips, but raspberry jelly and dark chocolate would work just as well. It’s not about that. It’s about the topping, which we’ve already established. See the topping? It’s crumbtastic!

The result is rewarding and addictive. I’m not really a yellow cake mix person, but in this form it’s both unrecognizable and fantastic. And let’s face it: I’m also a sucker for a good bar cookie. Especially one that I can make while my three kids are having a play date with two other kids and I’m trying to make sure that nobody gets maimed.

Give this a shot. It’s foolproof, and you’ll impress your friends! Crumbs. Crumbs. Crumbs. It’s go time!

Ingredients:

• 1 box yellow cake mix
• 1 and 1/2 cups quick oats (do not use regular oats)
• 1/2 cup butter, melted
• 10 oz. white chocolate chips
• 1/2 jar strawberry jelly

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350. Line a 9 x 13 pan with foil, letting the foil overhang the sides of the pan for easy removal later on. Coat with cooking spray.

In a bowl, combine the yellow cake mix and oats thoroughly. Pour in the melted butter and stir until the mixture forms crumbs. Press several handfuls of the crumb mixture into the bottom of the pan to make a crust, reserving the rest.

Spread a thin layer of jelly over the crust, and then sprinkle the white chocolate chips over the jelly evenly. Finally, crumble the rest of the topping over the chocolate chips, being sure that the crumbs vary from larger to medium-sized.

Bake for 25 minutes until the crumbs are turning golden. Remove from the oven and cool. Cut into bars or triangles. Store in an airtight container for up to one week.

Their signature treat wasn’t ice cream, though. It was a giant blondie called a Fantasy Bar. While it came in many flavors, the original was the best. I could always count on that bar to deliver with its giant chunks of caramel, chocolate and white chocolate.

Whenever I’m in the area, I stop by Cone E. Island and get my Fantasy Bar (or five). But twice a year isn’t enough to get that happy nostalgia back, so I became inspired to create a similar bar. Maybe it’ll make summer come faster? Maybe? Please?

This bar has the elements of the initial Fantasy Bar, but I added sugar cone pieces to the mix to make it really feel like an ice cream cone in cookie bar form. I also decided to add sprinkles because, really, what’s an ice cream cone without sprinkles?

See the pieces of cone sticking out of the bar? Mmmm. When you make this, you can always include other mix-ins that remind you of your favorite childhood ice cream shop experience. But this one is definitely mine. And while there is only one Fantasy Bar and it’s at Cone E. Island, this one comes pretty close to fulfilling my dreams! Like any blondie worth anything, it’s got a lot of brown sugar, so it’s chewy and dense in all the right places.

Channel the summertime. It’s coming soon! And while we wait, grab a blondie and pretend the sun is shining, you’re in flip-flops, and there’s a big ol’ ice cream cone in your hand!

Ingredients:

• 1 and 1/2 cups light brown sugar, packed
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup chocolate chunks
• 1/2 cup white chocolate chips
• one bag caramel pieces (I used Kraft) or chopped caramels
• 3-4 sugar cones, broken into small pieces

Instructions:

Peheat the oven to 350. Line a 9 x 13 pan with foil, leaving enough to overhang the sides, and coat in cooking spray.

In a medium-sized bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

Take a larger bowl and mix the brown sugar, butter, eggs and vanilla until just blended. Add the dry ingredients gradually and mix until incorporated.

Fold in the chocolate chunks, white chocolate chips, caramel pieces and sugar cone pieces gently. You do not want to break the sugar cone pieces down too much! The batter will be very sticky, so you might want to spray a spatula or your hand with cooking spray when you press the dough into the pan.

Press the mixture into the baking pan. Bake for 20-25 minutes until the blondies are golden and the middle is set.

Allow the bars to cool. Then, lifting the bars with the foil overhang, remove the blondies from the pan and cut into squares. Eat or store in an airtight container for up to one week.

Anyway, this past week, I messed up. An intern’s birthday somehow slipped through my fingers. I promised to make it up to him and he told me that the easiest way to make him happy was to incorporate Oreos into whatever I was baking.

I’ve noticed something about Oreos: they have the same fanatic fan base that my beloved peanut butter cups do. And like any loyal fan, Oreo devotees accept no generic substitutes. It has to be Oreo or bust. I understand completely. I accept no peanut butter cup that’s not a Reese’s.

But I digress. It was a busy weekend. My nephew had his second birthday, my son’s birthday is coming up this week, and we had endless social engagements. No, we’re not popular. Weekends just have a way of filling up.

When I’m short on time, I make bark. It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s so addictive. I could sit on my couch watching Parenthood episodes and eating bark for hours on end. It’s an open canvas. You can pretty much make any bark your heart tells you to make.

So this was a no-brainer. I went to the store, bought a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips, a bag of white chocolate chips, and a package of Oreos. Those three ingredients and five minutes were all I needed.

The end result is highly satisfying. The bark is all pretty with swirls of chocolate and crumblings of tantalizing Oreo. It literally melts in your mouth, but still has a satisfying crunch from the cookie. And if people eat it all up in two seconds flat, then you can make another batch in no time at all!

Plus, this makes a great gift. It’s like fudge. People think it took you forever to make and that you’re the best person ever, but it’s so simple that you just smile at them benignly and keep saying, “It was no trouble at all.” They’ll think you’re gracious and brilliant, but you’ll actually be telling the truth.

Okay, enough wasting time. Do you have five minutes? Go make some bark!

Ingredients:

• 1 bag semi-sweet chocolate chips (about 11 oz.)
• 1 bag white chocolate chips (same size)
• 1/2 package Oreos

Instructions:

Using two microwave-safe bowls, melt the chocolates. Start with the semi-sweet. Heat for two minutes and stir, and then heat in 30-second intervals until melted and smooth, stirring after each interval. Do not overheat or the chocolate will burn. Note: the white chocolate melts faster, so be careful!

Line a cookie sheet or jelly roll pan with parchment paper. Spread the semi-sweet chocolate evenly over the pan, being sure that no area is significantly thinner or thicker than another.

Pour the white chocolate over the semi-sweet layer and carefully spread it out, creating light swirls as you go. Do not over-swirl the chocolate or you will lose the effect and just wind up with a color that looks like milk chocolate.

Using your hands, crumble the Oreos over the melted chocolate, creating pieces of varying sizes. Be sure to cover the whole area.

Put the bark in the refrigerator and chill until firm, anywhere from 30-45 minutes. You can leave it in longer if needed.

When you’re ready, break the bark into pieces with your hands. It will peel very easily off the parchment paper. Put the bark into an airtight container and refrigerate until you’re ready to serve. If you have the willpower to wait, that is!