Every time I bake a cheesecake on the blog, people seem to really enjoy it. If you think about it, that makes sense. Very few people in life don’t want cheesecake.

Especially when it’s filled with Samoas. There is Girl Scout cookie goodness through and through, from the cheesecake to the topping! I’ve gone rogue on this thing.

Last week, I had the flu. Or at least, that’s what it felt like. I’m still not sure because I will go to great lengths before I ever let anyone give me a flu test again.

Have you ever had a flu test? They take this implement and shove it very far up your nose. I have a hard time describing the level of discomfort (translate: pain) that is involved with this test. First of all, that region is usually sensitive and congested anyway, and anything being stuck up there is massively unpleasant.

Let me put it this way: I might rather give birth yet again than have a flu test. It’s much more comfortable. And that’s without the epidural.

Maybe that seems hyperbolic, but I swear it’s not. In fact, here’s a list of things I’d rather do than take a flu test ever again:

• Get five flu shots in a row in a 10-minute period
• Fast for a day (no food or water)
• Watch an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians (oh torture)
• Ask my daughter to pull my hair even harder than she already does while she’s playing hairdresser
• Eat an entire box of stale Cheez-Its (and I don’t even like fresh ones)

And the list goes on and on!

In fact, the flu test is worse than actually having the flu. So now you know how I feel and we can talk about cheesecake.

This one is just happiness. It’s creamy, full of Samoa bits, and topped with more Samoas. Oh, and coconut, caramel, and some hot fudge. Yesssssss.

I brought this to work to give to my friend who loves Samoas. She foolishly put the cake out on a communal table and turned around for about five seconds. When she turned back, the cheesecake was gone. Hey, finders keepers!

You’re going to love this, unless you have the flu. Then you can freeze it and eat it later. But for all you well kids out there, cheesecake away. And remember, when the time comes: the flu test is massively sucky, and it won’t take away your flu. But this cheesecake will be waiting for you when you recover!

Boy, did that come out rude, especially to my (very valued) readers who are not American and have no idea what this stupid Girl Scout cookie craze is about, anyway. I do apologize. And I can always suggest substitutes if you can’t get the cookies. But you have to understand something.

Girl Scout cookies are America, people. And I’m an American food blogger. If I were a French food blogger, I’d be doing a lot more with delicate pastry dough and awesome macarons.

Another American phenomenon I’m all about: the mashup. It’s where you take two things that have not previously gone together (a song, a dessert) and you combine them. Some people find them too intense, too much. I call mashups a multitasker’s dream come true. Mashups prevent difficult choices from having to be made. Instead of choosing between the cookie or the pie, have a pookie! Why pick just one?

That view, of course, is quite American. We Americans like to think we can have it all, and perhaps we can, but I have to cry foul. I think trying to have it all is the first step to failure, or at the very least, disappointment. It might be easier to have all of one or two things, and then little bits of the rest.

If you see someone who does seem to have it all, take another look. What seems like perfection from the outside is usually a mask. Unless, of course, we’re talking about fudge. Because this fudge has everything, and it’s no illusion.

For some reason, I couldn’t decide whether to use regular or white chocolate in this fudge. So what did I do? I decided to have it all. And nestled between the layers and on top of the fudge are the Samoas themselves, along with sweetened coconut.

I consider this fudge in the mashup category because, well, it’s cookies and fudge. Cookies inside of fudge is pretty much always a good idea.

For those of you who are sick of all this Girl Scout madness, I’m done. I think. I do have one more box of Tagalongs to play with. But remember, this is America. We want it all, and we want it now. The least I can do is give our Girl Scouts my baking best.

Think about it: 40 years ago, women couldn’t do so many important jobs because we weren’t considered worthy. Gradually, thanks to women’s rights and some common sense, the general population has come to realize that we kick butt. I mean, we still make less money and people are still sexist. Nothing changes overnight. But at least we’re moving in the right direction.

But see, that element of choice that has resulted from having more rights has made life a lot harder to navigate. Do we work at home or work outside the home? Claw up the ladder or stay complacently put? Wear heels or flats?

As I get older, by the way, flats. But the bottom line is, choices are quite the double-edged sword. They’re much more fun when the decisions you have to make aren’t that vital to society, but make or break your day. Thus, the Girl Scout cookie conundrum.

Tagalongs all the way for me, baby. But I know a lot of you don’t agree. Thin Mints have a raging following, and Samoas are also pretty dang popular. And while there’s a smaller but loyal contingent who dream of Trefoils, they’re still solidly in the minority.

When I bake with Girl Scout cookies, it’s always with being fair in mind. I use the three top favorites somewhat evenly and then dabble a bit in desserts involving other flavors. Last year, I made these mini-cheesecakes with equity as a goal. I do have one Trefoil recipe coming up, but today is all about those three superstars: Tagalongs, Thin Mints, and Samoas.

This recipe is simple, fun, and easy to do with kids if you’re into that kind of torture. The base is a cake mix chocolate cookie, which then gets wrapped around the various Girl Scout Cookie flavors. I have a code that makes it easy to remember which is which: Tagalongs get topped with peanut butter chips, Thin Mints with chocolate chips, and Samoas with Heath toffee bits.

Like all cake mix cookies, these bake up instantaneously and without additional fridge chill time. And when they’re done, they’re fudgy and an oh-so-perfect pillow for the cookie nestled inside. It really is hidden treasure. What could be more valuable than finding a Girl Scout cookie hiding inside another giant cookie?

Well, women’s rights are probably more valuable, but let’s not squabble over it. The worst thing is when women tear one another down about the choices their sister-friends have made, so let’s let that one go. Instead, go eat a cookie. Do it for yourself, for Girl Scouts, and for women in America!

So what do you do when your buddy has a birthday in September and her favorite cookies are Samoas? And there are no Samoas to be had?

Well, make one, of course. A giant one. In a cookie cake!

This cookie cake is the product of two weeks of thinking and a subsequent two seconds of sheer inspiration.

See, my friend loves coconut. German chocolate cakes are her favorite, but I’ve done that before. So what could I do to make her birthday super special? I hunted everywhere, scouring cookbooks, browsing endlessly on Pinterest. I looked at Samoa bars, Samoa cakes, everything. And nothing struck me as the one.

Then I remembered how much I love cookie cakes! And a vision took place in my head. The cookie base is made with a lot of brown sugar, as well as caramel bits, to get that caramel flavor into the mix. There are also chocolate chips, both baked into the cookie and melted on top. And finally, a ring of coconut, drizzled with caramel and striped with hot fudge to resemble a Samoa.

I had to toast some coconut, which works well on parchment paper in a 350 degree oven. Just be sure to watch it, because it’s sweetened and therefore burns very fast!

It worked. It was delicious. And I don’t have a slice to show you because I gave the whole cake away. So instead, I did a step-by-step for you. The cookie before being spread with melted chocolate:

And after:

And coconut going on top. Can we get an “oooh” or an “aaaah?”

Finally, the caramel drizzle and fudge stripes!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Everyone should get their favorite on their birthday. Loved ones of mine, are you listening?! So here’s to my friend, the coconut lover. Hope your day was amazing!

Ingredients:

• 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 eggs
• 2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 and 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided
• 1/2 cup caramel bits (Kraft brand)
• 1 and 1/2 cups sweetened flaked coconut, toasted (see post above)
• caramel sauce (jarred or homemade)
• hot fudge sauce

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350. Coat a 9-inch round cake pan with cooking spray. Cut parchment paper to fit the bottom for easy release and then spray the sides again with pan release spray or cooking spray.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat butter, brown sugar, sugar and vanilla until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually add the flour, salt, and baking soda, beating until the dry ingredients are fully incorporated. Finally, fold in 1/2 cup of the chocolate chips and the caramel bits.

Bake for 30-35 minutes until the center is no longer jiggling. Watch it carefully to avoid overbaking. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.

When the cake is cool, toast the sweetened coconut for 5-10 minutes in the oven at 350. Watch it carefully!

Melt 1 cup of chocolate chips in the microwave for 1 minute. Remove and stir until smooth, and spread evenly over the cake’s surface. Gently press the toasted coconut in a ring pattern around the cake, working your way inward as you go. Leave a circle in the middle with no coconut to mimic the Samoa.

Gently drizzle caramel over the coconut. Fit a piping bag with a medium-sized round tip and pipe the fudge stripes evenly over the top of the surface. Allow the fudge and chocolate layer to set for at least an hour before serving.