Do you have a list of things you want to bake that’s about 17 miles long? I sure do. For at least a year and a half, I’ve wanted to bake these. The base recipe is in the Sally’s Baking Addiction cookbook (the first one), and I made one or two minimal adjustments, which I’ll explain later.

Suffice it to say, these don’t disappoint. They’re thick, chewy, and fudgy. Plus, they’re sprinkled with sea salt. Can a cookie get any better?

In case you haven’t read enough food blogs by writers who live on the East Coast in the U.S., it’s been searing hot this summer. We’ve broken records (excluding the desert regions of the country) into the 100s in the D.C. area, and it’s been pretty oppressive.

This week, we’ve been doing the whole water park circuit to try and cool off. Water parks are fun to a degree, but I honestly can’t spend the day at one like some people do. Really, I have no idea how they can stay in one of those places for so long.

For one, it’s hot and there’s not much shade, so no matter how much sunscreen you slather on, the sunburns are inevitable. For another, it’s crowded. People are screaming and splashing and crashing into one another right and left. My youngest doesn’t like to be splashed, so water parks are like a circle of the Inferno for her.

And then there’s the inevitable clearing of the water park when some kid eventually either vomits or does something very similar into the water supply. It happens more than I would like to think about. Suffice it to say that my bias against water parks isn’t exactly unfounded.

Having said that, they do help beat this heat a bit. So let’s give a big shout-out to the water parks, everyone!

Now I can move on to the bigger shout-out. I’ve been reading Sally’s blog along with the rest of the world for many years, and I’ve never thrown her any love on my own blog. She’s probably too bigtime to notice that I’m doing this, but I wanted to make these cookies and I think she’s awesome. So there you go.

The only big change I made here (and it’s not big) was using regular plain caramels in the center instead of Rolos. There was really no reason for that, except that I was out of Rolos. I think I ate them all myself.

The other change is that I waited to sprinkle the salt on the cookies until right after they came out of the oven. While the salt won’t stick as well, it doesn’t melt into the cookie, either. I like my salt freshly sprinkled. It’s just my thang.

If you’re amid this crazy wave of searing heat, I hope you get some relief in some cool oasis. Or hey, if you’re in a pinch, try a water park. But just for a few hours. Any more than that is singular torture. See if you can sneak some cookies in with you. It’ll make the day much more bearable!

It probably comes from my innate suspicion of anything cooked in a microwave. See, I’m not a fan. I use the microwave to melt butter or chocolate, and that’s usually it. I’d rather wait longer to heat something on the stovetop or let it crisp up in the oven. The uneven cooking of a microwave just makes me all kinds of sad.

But mug cakes are different! They’re magical, really. Just a few minutes stand between you and a warm chocolate cake just oozing with salted caramel. It’s so easy!

Last week I was raging about the state of our country, and this week, I’ll rage about the Stanford rape case. I have little to say except this: let’s clarify the cause of rape. Ready? Here we go.

Rapists.

That’s it. Nothing else. It’s not what someone was wearing, or if she was drunk, or if there was flirting. None of that matters. None of that gives anybody the right to engage in an act of violence against another human being.

We need to instill this set of values in our own children. For years, women have been told that they need to avoid certain behavior to ensure that they won’t be victims of sexual assault. If that’s not victim-shaming, I don’t know what is.

I resent the fact that throughout my life, I’ve had to rely on a buddy system at parties. I can never leave my drink unattended. I’ve never walked alone at night because it’s not safe. But all that makes sense, because I’m a cautious and fearful person. And if I weren’t, and something happened to me?

It would not be my fault. Not even a little bit. That’s like saying that someone being randomly stabbed on the street was asking for it by being there. And that’s just stupid.

See, I get mad about the world my kids are inheriting sometimes, and this blog is the perfect place to express that anger. And it’s also a perfect place to rant about microwaves. But not today, kids!

This cake is as simple as it comes. You mix up all the ingredients, pour them into the mug, and plop some salted caramels into the batter. The whole thing takes about two minutes to microwave, and then life is grand.

It can’t always be as simple as a mug cake out there in this funny world. Our existences are both delightful and disturbing. Let’s all do our part to keep trying to make the world a better place!

Baked apples are a classic American dessert, but I’ve upped the ante by coring them, filling them with a simple streusel, and drizzling (pouring, maybe?) salted caramel on top. And we can totally call this a healthy dessert because, you know, apple. Right? Hey, it’s fruit!

This is a fireside kind of dessert, the kind that you share with family members on game night or some equally idyllic situation. These are impossible not to love, unless you have no soul. I’m feeling very objective today.

This past weekend, Kenny and I had a night by the fire. It was a redo of our New Year’s Eve, the first of which crashed and burned at eight o’clock when our son’s stomach virus erupted everywhere. Yes, I’m being literal. Nobody wants a romantic dinner for two after cleaning that up.

It’s getting harder and harder to stay awake long enough to last through date night. Back in the day, I could guzzle drinks with the smug knowledge that I had nowhere to go and nothing to do in the morning. But when you have kids, that whole game changes suddenly and irrevocably.

Not only have I not owned an alarm clock since 2008, but I have also not awakened past 6:30. And that’s on the very best of days. There are too many children and even more viruses at play to count on a later wake-up time. As a result, my body is hardwired to wake up on weekends at 5:30. Any date nights need to take that little hitch into account.

Take last night, for example. Our youngest is ready for a real bed, but she really loves her crib. We’ve tried to move her out to no avail, and last night she seemed eager to move. So into her older sister’s room she went into a twin bed that swallowed her tiny body whole. Around 12:45, she freaked out because her sister went to the bathroom and she thought she would be alone forever. And at 2 A.M., she started screaming that she wanted to “go back to my room.” And back in her crib she went. I know, I know, I’m weak. But she was screeching the house down, and nobody was getting any sleep.

When Kenny is awakened by children (which happens less for him because he just doesn’t hear them), he can immediately fall back asleep. I, on the other hand, will lie awake in a state of pure tension waiting for someone to wake up again, unable to stop my mind from racing. I wish that I could make my brain stop, but it’s just not possible. So nights like that mean no sleep for Mir. And that means I don’t drink on date night, and I sure don’t stay up past 10. It’s a shame, but what are you gonna do?

Eat a healthier-than-usual dessert, that’s what. The hardest part of this recipe is coring the apples, so I’d recommend having a corer or melon baller around if you’re not handy with a knife. But once you’ve done that, the rest is easy.

The oat-based streusel in each apple takes seconds to prepare, and you drizzle prepared salted caramel topping over the baked apple. It’s such a cozy dessert. I think it’s kind of required to eat this while wrapped in a fuzzy blanket while wearing equally fuzzy slippers.

If you’re about getting healthy this season, this dessert is the one. It’s healthy with just a splash of decadence, making it a perfect choice. Whether you have an early wake-up call or a chance to sleep in late, this will make your evening worthwhile!

As long as the holidays keep coming, I’m going to keep baking pie! How can I not? Crust is just such a happy thing.

One of my favorite pies of all time is Dutch apple, and this pie goes to a whole ‘nother level with salted caramel on top. This kid’s a showstopper.

It’s funny, but I can pass up regular apple pie any day of the week. When it’s covered in crumb topping, though, just give me a giant serving fork and watch me dig in. I really can’t hold back. And ever since salted caramel became a thing, I just can’t get enough.

When I was growing up, we had dear family friends in the neighborhood. The oldest son was my brother’s best friend, and it was fairly common for our two families to get together for holidays and other occasions.

One unforgettable day, we were having dinner at their house and dessert was served. It was a Dutch apple pie, and I’d never seen one before. Hearing that it was apple pie, I took a small portion to be polite, but I wasn’t that excited. Until, that is, that first bite hit my taste buds.

I was pretty shy as a kid, but I went up to the mom and asked her how to make this pie. Mind you, I’d never baked anything. This was the first recipe I actually made.

She taught me how to do it, writing the recipe out in detail on an index card and walking me through the process by showing me how it was done one sunny day. I’ve never forgotten that this adult was willing to pay attention to me and teach me something, and that’s why Dutch apple pie will always hold a special place in my heart.

This recipe is the exact one she gave me on that index card, except I’ve drizzled Smuckers salted caramel over the pie. As a big fan of caramel and apple together, this was just a natural next step. Besides, I can get the salted caramel at my local Target, and they’re running a cartwheel deal on it now! Hello, holiday baking.

The pie itself is a miracle. Both the crust and the topping are the same dough, so you only have to dirty one bowl for that. Plus, there’s no fancy food processing or mixer action necessary. This is made with just you and your spatula!

The filling is super quick, too. I just slice up a few granny smith apples, toss them with some cinnamon-sugar and vanilla, and that’s it. For not a crazy amount of effort, you have a beautiful holiday pie!

This season, share a recipe you love with someone else. I will always cherish this pie because it was shared with me, and now I want to spread the joy. Here’s to making beautiful baking memories!

Does that work for everyone? Nope. My friend is more of an evening exerciser. By that time, I am done and a half. Can barely move, except to lift the fork to my mouth to eat dessert. That’s my workout later in the day!

When you want a good breakfast treat that is homemade but easy, I recommend turning to refrigerated biscuits. Not  to make biscuits with, silly. To make something far more fun. This salted caramel pecan pastry ring is delicious and perfect for the morning, not to mention pretty quick to put together. It takes the usual five minutes or so!

When I bake, I often listen to music. It helps pep everything up and I like to fling flour around while I dance in the privacy of my own kitchen. Sometimes the songs are a bit lacking, like this one on the radio lately that just will not stop.

I have no idea who sings it, so bear with me. It’s got lyrics that go something like, “If we’re talking bodies, you’ve got a perfect one so put it on me.” Wow. Those are some lyrics. Yes, I’m being a snob about it. I’m an English teacher.

But the most annoying part about the song is the kind-of chorus, where the singer just bleats one word: “Bodies.” Like, over and over. Or at least it seems to never end.

Why do I keep listening? Well, I don’t anymore. Now I change the station as soon as I realize what’s happening. But the first few times, it was like rubbernecking at a traffic accident. I just couldn’t listen away. I had to figure out if this was really a song.

If I’ve offended you because you love this artist, song, or bodies in general, sorry. I had to get that off my chest before moving onto a much more pleasant topic.

This miracle of a breakfast treat is made by dipping bits of refrigerated biscuit dough into a brown sugar and butter mixture laced with pecans and coarse sea salt. The result is quite lovely, and must be taken very seriously.

In other words, have plans to eat breakfast if you make this. Don’t skip it. Commit.

Breakfast should be something you look forward to, no matter what you crave. Hey, we all like different music, clearly. So we probably don’t all want sweet pastry for breakfast. But I do, so pass this over!

The idea of making a pie crust used to terrify me. I knew that it involved a food processor, which I owned, but couldn’t put together. Seriously. The directions were so confusing. But then, I found a way around it for an easy crust you can make in a bowl. More details on that later.

By the way, I know how to use my food processor now. But whatever. What makes this pie so amazing is peanut butter caramel. Salted peanut butter caramel. Yes, that exists. And it’s easy to make!

What was life like before people knew about salted caramel? Or sushi? Or cake pops that you put in the freezer and eat when they’re super cold?

I really, really have a thing for the freezer. Some people put baked goods into the freezer as a deterrent. Not me. I put baked goods in the freezer, wait a couple of hours, and then start gnawing away. Frozen cheesecake is the best. Frozen brownies are even fudgier than those at room temp. Now that it’s getting hot out, everything I bake (except cookies or giveaway treats) goes straight into the freezer. I strongly encourage you to give it a shot!

If you’ve decided that I’m crazy at this point, I’m okay with that. Liking things a certain way is my right, and if you care to judge, go right ahead. I won’t say anything to you if you’re wearing flats, though I might judge you privately. How do people wear flats? I would like to, in theory. They just make my calves look huge. And my legs look shorter. And maybe I just have a high arch, because heels are more comfy cozy.

If there’s one thing we can agree on, I hope, it’s that pie crust should be easy to make. The recipe below uses melted butter instead of cubed cold butter, which is more standard. This crust can be made in a bowl in less than five minutes, and if you aren’t into the chocolate flavor, just omit the cocoa. I hope this cures you of your pie crust fears forever. Amen.

Now, I had to make this pie crust chocolate to accommodate the happiness that comes next. The first layer of filling is a very simple, thick ganache. It looks almost like a brownie, doesn’t it? But nope, it’s ganache, made purposely on the heavier side to give the pie more heft.

Layered on top is my favorite part: salted peanut butter caramel. This stuff is so simple to make that it’s almost not a recipe. Ready? You take one cup of peanut butter and melt it with a can of SCM (that’s sweetened condensed milk for you laypeople out there) until it’s smooth. Donesies! And then I sprinkle coarse sea salt on top.

All of this comes together, gets chilled in the fridge, and you’re done. And for all this effort (i.e., almost none at all), you get some seriously impressive pie. Might I say, brilliant pie. And if you want to eat it all right away, great. But if not, freeze it! I’m telling you, people. Wave of the future!

Oh, I was so young and stupid. The salted caramel trend was still a few years away from starting and I never stopped to consider that salted baked goods were the best thing to happen to the dessert industry since peanut butter and chocolate. But like I said, I was not that clever. I was in my twenties and had perfect skin. But I was dumb.

Anyway, eventually I climbed onboard the salty dessert bandwagon. And here I stay, until long after it will be considered trendy. I’ll be one of those annoying grandmothers who still bakes salted caramel stuff while her grandchildren roll their eyes and say, “But Grandma, it’s all about sardines dipped in ganache right now.”

These bars seem wholesome because they’re full of oats. I mean, they are wholesome, but they still have chocolate and caramel and butter. Butter happens. Accept it.

That said, these bars don’t contain flour, so they are healthier. Instead, I’ve used my trusty oat flour to make these work. And my lord, do they ever. They’re sticky, too! You’ll be licking caramel off your fingers for a while, which will just prolong an already fun snack!

When you make these bars, you layer the various elements. But when they bake up, the layers are indistinguishable. So why layer, you ask? Because when you put salted caramel between the oatmeal dough and add in some chocolate, it gives the middle an irresistibly chewy, gooey texture. The chocolate I used came from Trader Joe’s. It’s a butterscotch salted caramel covered in chocoalte. But if you can’t get that in your area, you can use another kind of chocolate-covered salted caramel, or even Rolo minis with sea salt sprinkled on top! It’s all good.

And in case you didn’t realize it, chewy and anything with oatmeal go together, but not like peas and carrots. I’ve never understood that expression. It just grosses me out in a vaguely unpleasant way.

These will not have that effect on you, I promise. They’re delicious. Here’s how to get your chew on!

Ingredients:

• 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 2 cups firmly packed brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 4 teaspoons vanilla
• 3 cups rolled oats
• 2 cups oat flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 jar salted caramel sauce (I used Smuckers brand)
• 1 package chocolate-covered salted caramels (I used Trader Joe’s brand)

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350. Coat a 9 x 13 pan with cooking spray.

In a bowl, combine the oats, oat flour, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla and mix again. Gradually add the oat mixture, beating each time until the dry ingredients are fully incorporated.

Press half of the mixture (it will be sticky, so use a spatula) into the pan. Bake for 10 minutes.

Remove the pan from the oven. Pour on the caramel sauce (the whole jar) and then sprinkle on the chocolate-covered salted caramels evenly. Drop the remaining dough on the top, patting down. You need not cover the whole pan, but try to make sure that the dough is distributed throughout the pan.

Bake for 30-35 mintues untl the middle is no longer jiggly.

Allow the bars to cool and then cute into squares. Store in an airtight container.

So when I entered a cooking contest (and won, brag brag brag) recently and the required ingredient was squash, I had to find out if I could work a brownie in there somewhere.

Result?  This li’l guy.

Okay, I admit it sounds a bit unorthodox at first.  Squash with chocolate?

But from the gods that brought us pumpkin and chocolate, this idea was born.  If I could enjoy pumpkin bread with chocolate chips (yes yes yes), then couldn’t I make squash kinda taste like pumpkin and then go crazy?

And then, if that worked, could we get some cheesecake in there?  Because the only thing better than a brownie is a cheesecake with brownies.  Ask Ben and Jerry if you don’t believe me.

Result: a pecan crust topped with a very dense fudgy brownie, topped with squash cheesecake.  Oh, and drizzled with salted caramel.  Baked.  Tested.  Phenomenal.

It did manage to confuse people.  They kept thinking it was pumpkin.  But that’s because of all the cinnamon.  Do ya see it?  Top layer.  That and nutmeg make butternut much sexier.

I will warn you that these bars take a little bit of time to make.  A great bar, like life, has layers.  And layers mean there is a whole lot going on with prep and baking time.

But now that I know these work, it’s worth the effort.

So here’s the recipe:

Crust:

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2/3 cup packed brown sugar
• 10 tablespoons cold unsalted butter
• 2 cups finely chopped pecans

Brownie Layer:

• 1 cup unsalted butter, melted
• 1 cup unsweetened cocoa
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 eggs
• 4 teaspoons vanilla
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 tablespoon salt

Squash Cheesecake:

• 16 oz. cream cheese, softened to room temperature
• 1 and 1/4 cups sugar
• 1 cup cooked mashed butternut or winter squash (I used frozen)
• 4 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 4 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Salted Caramel:

• caramel topping, preferably a high-quality brand
• sea salt to taste

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350.  Spray a 9 x 13 pan with cooking spray.

First, assemble the crust.  Combine brown sugar and flour in a bowl.  Using a pastry cutter or your hands, cut in the butter until the mixture is crumbly.  Stir in the pecans and press the mixture firmly into the bottom of the pan.  Bake for 15 minutes until lightly browned.

While the crust is baking, make the brownie layer.  Melt the butter in the microwave and then stir in the cocoa until it dissolves completely.  Add the sugar and stir until combined.  Then, add the eggs and vanilla, and stir again until the mixture is smooth.  Finally, add the salt and flour and mix again.

When the crust comes out, pour on the brownie batter and bake for about 20 minutes or until the brownies are set but not completely done.

Meanwhile, make the cheesecake layer.  In a mixer using the paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese and sugar until creamy.  Then add the squash, eggs, vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg and beat again until all ingredients are thoroughly and evenly incorporated.

Once the brownies are out of the oven, pour the cheesecake batter over the brownie layer and put the bars back in the oven for 30-35 minutes until the edges of the cheesecake are golden brown and the top is set and firm.

Cool to room temperature and then refrigerate for four hours or overnight.

Before cutting,  combine the caramel topping with sea salt to taste.  Drizzle salted caramel over the bars. Cut into small squares and enjoy!