Every year, I bake my own birthday fantasy treat. When you’re the resident cake baker, nobody bakes them for you. It falls to me to make the festive sugar. But that’s okay, because I get to let my imagination run wild.

This cake is like a giant Reese’s peanut butter cup. A peanut butter core is sandwiched between my favorite chocolate cake (it’s gluten-free but superior to any chocolate cake I’ve ever baked, and that’s a LOT of cakes) and then frosted with peanut butter frosting. And of course, the whole cake is topped off with more Reese’s peanut butter cups. It’s the best candy in the world, my friends!

Today I got my welcome back letter in the mail from the high school where I work. Don’t get me wrong: I love teaching and it’s exciting to go back every year. But could everyone just not bother me until I have to go back? I don’t want to see ads for back to school items, and I definitely don’t want a mailing from my work full of meeting agendas. Thinking about meetings when I’m at the beach soaking up the rays is just so not cool.

Before you start thinking that I’m a spoiled you-know-what who gets two whole months off to while away, I have to explain the argument that I have with Kenny on a regular basis. From my point of view, a teacher’s summer vacation is pretty much a furlough. In other words, we’re not paid for those two months, and it’s not voluntary. Granted, I know very few teaching jobs that span an entire school year. Kenny argues that if teachers were to work those extra two months and be paid the same amount, our salaries would still be good. I think that we would have to make an extra two months’ worth of money, because then we’d be 12-month employees, not 10-month. And it’s not like teachers aren’t underpaid anyway.

So what this comes down to is that when you think you’re seeing a lot of teachers on vacation, several are working extra jobs or cutting back on expenses to compensate for the absent paychecks. It’s just something to consider. I know very few teachers who don’t have summer gigs to help everyone stay afloat.

Back when I was a rookie teacher with no money, I actually kept my expenses outside of basic needs to $40 a week. I still don’t know how I did that, but I remember budgeting out a movie, or a candy bar, or if I saved up a bit more, a cool vest. It was easier to do that than to teach summer school. But back then, I was young and energetic. Now, I got nothin’.

Except THIS CAKE. I had to put that in caps because, well, it’s a crazy awesome sugar bomb punch. I have a pretty high tolerance for desserts that other people consider rich, but this one packs a lot of intensity. Half a slice got me through a few hours.

You can bet that on my birthday I’ll be pulling this cake out of the freezer for partying galore. After all, I still have some summer vacation left, even if it’s dwindling fast. While the sun shines and the seagulls caw (is that what seagulls do?), let the celebrations begin!

Whenever I see a gorgeous woman, I might feel a twinge of envy. Okay, more than a twinge. But then I remember that being cute has a much longer shelf life than being pretty. Or at least, I hope it does.

Besides, people like cuteness everywhere. I saw a chocolate-covered Oreo shaped like a flower last week and I just had to have it. I mean, I always want a chocolate-covered Oreo, but when you put it into a flower chocolate mold that looks like a daisy, hot damn. That’s one adorable treat. So I figure I should bake cute whenever I can.

Holidays provide a fantastic excuse to head toward the more adorable treats. And why shouldn’t I try for an approximation of an American flag on a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie cake with frosting?

While decorating this, I ran out of blue M & Ms. You learn so much from emptying out a whole bag of something about color allocation. Is it an accident that only about a quarter of the bag was blue? I have no idea. We should ask some food psychologists or something.

Apparently, colors mean something. My house is decorated in yellow and red, my two favorite colors. I learned as an adult that fast food restaurants use those colors because they trigger appetite. So maybe I just wanted to decorate my house in shades of hunger without realizing it. It might also be why I can’t put the brownies down. Nah. Brownies are just that good.

So is this cookie cake. It’s quick cheat, and you know I’m fond of those. You take Nestle peanut butter chocolate chip cookie dough (it comes in a bag in the freezer section), thaw it, and use it as a base. The peanut butter frosting you make yourself, and then the peanut M & Ms on top just add extra joy.

If you can’t find the cookie dough I used, any peanut butter cookie dough will be fine. In that case, I’d recommend buying two packages (the equivalent of 32 oz.) to get that cookie cake nice and thick.

The frosting takes pretty much no time to whip up, and it’s my favorite. It all goes on there unless you want to reserve some and eat it with a spatula. Not that I did that. Surrounded by yellow and red walls.

Baking cute is the way to go for fun holidays like the 4th. You can save the serious baking for something that involves religion or some kind of suffering, or both. This recipe is purely for those of you who like to have fun and be adorable!