Nothing will please a crowd faster than chocolate cake, and when you add a rich chocolate glaze and cover the cake with all kinds of candy bars, you’re basically asking people to come to your house and never leave. If that sounds okay to you, proceed!

After all, nothing will fill a house full of visitors faster than baked goods. I find that when there’s a candy assortment in the mix, you just have to get used to having privacy invaded on a regular basis.

That’s not really a problem for me, but for Kenny, it’s awful. He’s an introvert, and our house is very loud for him already. Our three monsters make a ton of hullabaloo, and when their little monster friends come over, it’s even worse. I try to hide the chocolate during any and all play dates.

It’s kind of tough when an extrovert marries an introvert. I charge my batteries by being with other people, and I’ve had to really cut that back now that I see what it can do to Kenny. He would never complain, but I know that spending the day around people is not his thing at all.

Whenever we do get together with friends, I have a really great time. But I can usually tell from Kenny’s body language that he’s dying to get home and lie on the couch. I mean, that does sound nice, for maybe an hour or so. Then I really want to get out there again and hang out with people.

Our society really gives introverts a bad rap. We make it harder for them to get ahead in the workplace, we misinterpret their preference for quiet as hostile or unfriendly, and we refuse to acknowledge that it’s okay for some people to prefer to be alone to get their energy. It doesn’t mean that they don’t have friends, or want to do well at work, or anything else. It’s just a different way of seeing the world.

It gets to the point where introverts force themselves uncomfortably out of their natural preferences, and it shows. My mom is an introvert, but she values the qualities that extroverts exhibit, so she goes out of her way to be very social. I admire her for putting herself out there, but as a natural extrovert (not to mention her daughter), I can tell when she’d rather be at home getting some downtime.

Regardless of social preference, we can all agree that a candy bar chocolate bundt cake is a good way to unwind and recharge after a long and stressful day. I made sure to pile this high with as many candy bars as I could: we’ve got Almond Joy, Snickers, Milky Way, Twix, Reese’s, Kit Kats, Nestle Crunch and M & Ms. And have I mentioned the thick chocolate glaze? I think I did, but it bears repeating.

As long as I keep baking cakes like this, people will drop by on any old pretext to share a slice. I love it, and as for Kenny, well, he’s getting used to it. But I don’t want him to change, and we’ll keep meeting somewhere in the middle. Introvert or extrovert, we can all bond over a big slice of cake at the end of the day.

Well, kind of. The National Zoo is free, and they have a cute baby panda named Bao Bao. But in exchange for watching all of the adorableness as he tumbles down hills while trying unsuccessfully to stand up, you have to pay a $22 flat fee to park in the zoo lot. So it’s not exactly free, unless you want to go with street parking. Which you could, if you find a free spot. Or take the subway. But that’s not free either.

Okay, I’ll stop griping. Really, the National Zoo is very nice. Even with the absence of giraffes. And the monuments are free, too. And the museums. But not all of them! That International Spy Museum is a tricky biscuit.

Speaking of biscuits (oooh, a segue), a.k.a. “cookies” here in America, these should do the trick. It’s high time they started making Twix bites. For months, I’ve been waiting. Snickers bites, Reese’s bites, Kit Kat bites. All there. And now I can put the ultimate chocolate cookie bar…wait for it…in a cookie!

They’re predictably delicious. Basically, this is a chocolate chip cookie with chopped up Twix bites and yes, some milk chocolate chips, too. And I can’t imagine anyone in the world turning these suckers down. Which is why I have to get them out of the house right now! After I eat these three next to my computer, that is.

Delicious, but not nutritious. Oh well. We’ll save the healthy recipes for times when there is no Twix involved. This cookie is made out of love, folks.

Remember to chill your dough, preferably overnight. It won’t do to have weird crispy cookies.

My favorite thing about this recipe? No mixer! So your excuses are all gone, people out there who suffer from mixer-o-phobia. Get your microwave-safe bowl and off you go!

Ingredients:

• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
• 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 egg yolk
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 2 and 1/4 cups flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cornstarch (optional, but yields a softer cookie)
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
• 1 cup Twix bites, chopped in halves or thirds

Instructions:

In a bowl, mix the butter and sugars together. Add the egg, egg yolk and vanilla, mixing again until all ingredients are smooth and incorporated.

Combine the dry ingredients in a separate bowl. Add them to butter mixture and mix thoroughly. Fold in the chocolate chips and Twix bites.

Cover the bowl and refrigerate for several hours or overnight.

When you’re ready to bake, preheat the oven to 325. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.

Making dough mounds about 1 and 1/2 tablespoons in size, place on the cookie sheet about 2 inches apart. Bake for 10-12 minutes, turning the cookies halfway through baking time.

Cool completely, and then remove from the baking sheet. Store in an airtight container.

I did not try a Twix bar until I was in my late twenties. No joke. Not even a bite. And though there’s usually a reason for travesties like that, I have no real reason to offer. My parents never bought them, I always wanted other candy, and it just never occurred to me to actually eat a Twix bar.

So you can imagine my grief at all the wasted years when I finally tried one. It was such a surprise. Not to shame Rolos, but why hadn’t I tried this caramel (and cookie-infused) candy? Why? Why?!

I was even more upset when I found out there used to be peanut butter Twix out there. I vaguely remember them being in red packaging. But I haven’t see any of those in a while, and it’s not for a lack of looking. Oh, life is so short. We have to seize the day while we still can.

Which is why I decided to give Twix bars some long-delayed love. Magic bars are one of my favorite desserts. I inhale them with delight, vaguely aware that my blood sugar is shooting up past reasonable bounds, and then I stop caring and keep eating them. They’re just such a rewarding explosion of chewy and sweet.

For these, I used refrigerated sugar cookie dough for the crust. I wanted a base that would be reminiscent of the cookie inside a Twix, and it paid off. Then I added milk chocolate chips, those lovely little caramel bits that Kraft makes, and chopped up fun-size Twix bars. Voila! Twix madness. Woohoo!

I gave these to some students, one of my most grateful test populations. They loved them and pronounced them, like, the best thing EVER. So if you put that into more perspective from being older, they’re pretty darn great. And so easy. Remember, I like easy. I have three kids and a full-time job. I need easy in my life!

This is a two-second recipe. Well, not two seconds. But it won’t take you long. If you start making them after work, they’ll be done by dinnertime!

Ingredients:

• 16 oz. refrigerated sugar cookie dough, not too cold
• 1 and 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips
• 1 package caramel bits or chopped caramels
• 15-16 chopped fun-size Twix bars
• 14 oz. (1 can) sweetened condensed milk (I used fat-free)

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350. Line a 9 x 13 pan with foil, using enough to let the foil hang over the sides of the pan. Spray with cooking spray.

Press the sugar cookie dough into the bottom of the pan. It will be sticky if it’s at room temperature, so don’t let it get too soft. Bake for 15 minutes until set and the edges are golden.

In the following order, sprinkle on the caramel bits, chocolate chips, and chopped Twix pieces, being sure to cover the surface evenly with all of the different elements. Drizzle the condensed milk over the top of the bars, covering the whole pan.

Bake the bars for 25-28 minutes until the edges are browned and the middle is fully cooked. Cut into small squares (they’re rich!) and serve or store in an airtight container for up to one week.