If you’ve ever taken a crumb cake and eaten the top off, these bars are for you. Made with pumpkin spice peanut butter (thank you, Jif!), these are so light that they crumble at the slightest touch. It might not make for the neatest edges, but these guys make quite the party in your mouth.

And of course, I had to add in candy corn. Who doesn’t love candy corn? As my friend Dorothy points out, when peanut butter and candy corn are put together, they taste like a Payday bar. And with that pumpkin spice twist, the hint of cinnamon is just…yep. Major win here, guys.

What I’m far less excited about is the prospect of Hurricane Joaquin. It’s barreling toward the east coast, and if it tracks inland, we’re looking at a probability of days with no power. If my blog goes inactive, you’ll know why.

Power outages are really the pits. When I was a kid, we lost power for several hours at a time during bad storms, but never for days. A few years ago, when my youngest was just a baby, we had a brief but intense storm here known as a “derecho” (no idea that was even a thing, trust me) that knocked power out for a week. A week. It was early July, and we sweated it out, trying to keep our kids comfortable and hydrated. It was hard to drive anywhere because the traffic lights were also knocked out. I will forever hate the power company, thanks to that week.

Another winter, snow fell heavily and once again, our power went out for a couple of days. We had no heat, so we had to bundle everyone and get the car out through the unplowed snow to a main road, where we lit out for my brother’s house. I felt like a pioneer woman, and not in a good way.

So you can fully understand that with Joaquin headed our way, I’m once again apprehensive. We’re checking batteries and flashlights, stocking up on nonperishable food and drinks, and preparing to have the children sleep with us. Have I mentioned that our house is in the middle of a forest of tall trees, and that one has actually fallen on the house? It’ll be the basement for us during this storm.

All of this advance worrying is enough to send me hurtling toward the sugar, as usual. It’s the best stress-buster. Wouldn’t you agree?

When I was single, I’d buy an Entenmann’s ultimate crumb cake on Friday afternoon for the weekend. In the morning at breakfast, I’d read the paper while picking all the crumb off the top with a fork. In other words, crumb cake exists in my world for the crumb.

So why not have a bar that has the same consistency and addictiveness? That’s exactly what is happening here. By taking the egg out of a more standard peanut butter bar recipe, these become mega crumbly. They’re hard to cut, but nobody will care. The best desserts aren’t always the prettiest.

With the pumpkin spice element added in along with candy corn, these are the perfect autumn indulgence. Eat the bars plain, or crumble them over ice cream. And if the power goes out, these will still be supremely eatable. I can’t think of a better way to prepare for a hurricane than to get baking!

It’s a pumpkin cookie cake, yep. But it also has delightful pumpkin spice cream cheese frosting. It doesn’t get much better than this. Unless somebody happens to have a jet ski handy, because that’s on my bucket list.

Cookie cakes are so superior to plain old cookies. Think about it: no dough chilling time, nice big wedges to dig into, and frosting. Why do you think those cookie cakes at the grocery store always look so tempting?

Actually, everything at the grocery store looks tempting. You know that whole “don’t shop when you’re hungry” thing people tell you? Yeah, thanks. Why do people go to the grocery store? To get food. Because we ran out. So how in holy heck are we supposed to eat before we go? It’s a totally unreasonable expectation. Plus, I enjoy my drool time in the bakery section. Don’t take that away from me.

I’m sure a lot of advice out there is good, but it doesn’t translate practically. For instance, as a woman above 35, I’ve been told to drink a glass of water before all my meals to curb my hunger. But first of all, well, I’m hungry. I wanna eat now. And even if I think ahead and chug my water 30 minutes before a meal, I have to hit the bathroom by the time the meal rolls around. And I’m often teaching classes, so I can’t hydrate and then leave my kids to rush off to the loo. It just doesn’t work that way.

Another common piece of advice is to sleep eight hours every night. Yeah, right. Assuming I get to bed with eight hours of lead time, something will mess it up. One of my kids will wake me up, or my husband will accidentally roll over me (he’s a restless sleeper), or I’ll have to use the bathroom, or a crazy thunderstorm will hit. And then, I’m up. It’s impossible to go back to sleep, because then the mind race begins. If you’re a woman, you know what I’m talking about. The to-do list begins to build until it reaches a fever pitch, and then you’re there, in the dark, staring at the ceiling and counting the bazillions of things you have to do the next day. Eight hours of sleep, my a$$.

Any more wise nuggets out there that really don’t work? Let me know. We can make a whole list and make fun of all the stupid advice out there. Then we can print it out and burn it.

Too far, huh? Sometimes I cross that line. Ahem. Back to cookie cake.

One piece of advice that will never be bad? Eat dessert. Especially if it’s a pumpkin cookie cake blinged out in pumpkin spice cream cheese frosting.

I got the pumpkin spice cream cheese a month ago at the grocery store (Philadelphia makes it) when I was, of course, hungry. All I knew as I grabbed the tub of cream cheese was that it would come in pretty handy sooner or later. And here we are. If you love cream cheese frosting, you’re going to love the pumpkin spice kind even more.

The cookie cake itself is a perfect use for pumpkin cookie dough. You see, because of a high moisture content in the pumpkin, pumpkin cookies never work out if you add eggs. The dough gets too cakey. So yeah, you can eat the dough off your beaters, but more important, this recipe makes for a fantastically dense cookie cake experience. You’ll enjoy it, I promise. And white chocolate chips can never hurt, either, so in they go!

Believe me, I’m the last person to be giving advice, and I’m also not so good at taking it. But some pieces of advice are easier to swallow than others, especially if what you happen to be swallowing is a cookie cake. Trust me on that one!

Um…everything. Anything. Whatever you want. Therein lies the glory and the danger. But the best treats in the world are a little bit dangerous.

I’m not sure if the cupcake craze is over yet (it’s definitely calmed down), but I hope your own personal cupcake craze reignites when you see these chocolate cupcakes. They have a peanut butter cup surprise inside and a healthy dollop of peanut butter pumpkin spice frosting! And, of course, some more peanut butter cup for bling. If you’re gonna make a cupcake, make a dang cupcake.

I’m not sure if extreme thinking works all the time the way it does for cupcakes, but it’s good to try and keep your fears under control. Whenever I’m equally eager to give something a shot and terrified that it won’t work out, I know I have to just go for it, no matter what happens.

Two years ago, when I’d just started playing the guitar, my then-teacher made me do my first open mic night. Part of me really wanted to do it while the other part was just in the horrors. I could barely play. How was that going to work out?

I still remember how scary it was waiting for my turn to play and sing. Everyone was just so good, and they’d clearly done the open mic thing a zillion times. I was nowhere near that skill level, and I remember really hating my teacher for forcing me to humiliate myself in front of everyone.

But you know, while it wasn’t the best performance ever (I played a bunch of wrong notes and my voice was all wobbly), it wasn’t terrible. I learned that people are really nice and encouraging, and that they just want you to do well. If you can let go of the fear, then just trying something new is the success story. You don’t have to be amazing to avoid failure.

One of my colleagues has an expression she uses on our students. When they’re fearful about doing anything, she says, “You gotta shut up and participate.” In other words, quit whining and worrying and just do whatever is causing all the drama to build up inside your head. It’s great advice, and I try to live by it some of the time. It’s not always possible to conquer every fear.

But it’s totally possible to make pumpkin spice peanut butter into the #bestfrostingever. If you haven’t seen Jif’s line of whipped PB in the grocery store, go look for it. When you mix it into vanilla frosting, it makes a perfect, easy cupcake finisher. If you want to make your own vanilla frosting first, you can. But I went easy and bought some from my local bakery. Sometimes it just works to skip a step.

Hey, I’m not afraid to admit that I take shortcuts sometimes, and I’m also not afraid to tell you that it makes me feel a little guilty. But who has time for making frosting every day? It’s much better to spend that time doing something new that utterly terrifies you. I dare you!

Sometimes I don’t have to do any thinking. The wonderful food manufacturers do it for me. And I love them for it!

This past Sunday, I was embroiled in our weekly grocery trip. Translation: I was hoisting my 2 year-old on one hip, dragging my 4 year-old by the hand through the aisles, and snapping at my 6 year-old to stop touching everything he saw. That’s why I prefer to shop alone, but whatever. It’s usually not an option.

Anyway, I was rounding the aisle when I glimpsed a display of pumpkin-themed products. And right in the middle, with its own halo shining down, was Jif whipped pumpkin spice peanut butter.

I swear, the heavens opened and angels sang. I’d been meaning to make peanut butter cups that day, but the plan shifted instantly. These babies were born instead.

And boy, does peanut butter go with everything. No, that’s not a question. It does. These cups are both unexpected and joyfully delicious. They work so well, and I am totally into them.

So into them, in fact, that I had to give them away pretty fast. Though I did save a few for Kenny, since these are accidentally gluten-free. I love it when that happens!

Your candy-eating ways just went up a notch. These are easy, no-bake, and very rewarding. Time to shake up the peanut butter cup!

Yes, just like that noteworthy song, here’s another hit for you! Because who can ever say no to a dipped Oreo? I can’t. You shouldn’t, either.

Especially when the Oreo in question is the limited edition Pumpkin Spice flavor. And I put a cute little candy pumpkin on top! Sorry, but the cuteness factor here is getting to me. I can’t resist my own creation.

Neither could my creative writing class, by the way. These were gone pretty fast. It’s a good thing I ate one before the kids got to them. I literally put them on the desk in front of me and a bunch of kids surged toward me. I feared for my life.

Yep, teens and treats. They act like they’ve never eaten before. But I didn’t blame them here, because these Oreos are delicious.

And if you saw my recipe last week for chocolate-dipped Reese’s Oreos, you know that I’m a big fan of money-saving hacks. Why go get these at a store when they’re crazy simple to make yourself?

Especially because dipped Oreos, for whatever reason, are highly overpriced. I’m not down with that. I believe in good quality for less, which is why I bake brownies that give all the best bakeries in town a run for their money.

Before I come across sounding too high on myself, I’d better go. To a bakery. To apologize, because bakeries rock. Maybe I’ll bring them another batch of these to make amends!