Seriously, it’s been a weird week. When I stepped back from the blog, I found out something interesting. A few things, actually. I’ll share them momentarily.

I’ll also share this chocolate chip streusel banana bread, which is heaven. How can it not be? It’s the most perfect banana bread, all filled and topped with chocolate chips and the most delightful, crumbly streusel.

Back when JAB began, I had just come away from a traumatic life event. I’ve talked about it before, and so I’ll just quickly summarize. My youngest daughter had a dangerous birth with an abrupted placenta, and both she and I went into distress. I remember looking at the ceiling as everything went blurry, struggling to breathe, watching Kenny tending to the baby and thinking, “I’m going to die alone.” It was not a moment I’d like to repeat, though someday I will, of course.

Afterward, I blamed myself. She’d been breech, and I’d been doing a lot of alternative methods to try and turn her, like acupuncture and chiropractic maneuvers. All of these were doctor-approved, and when I asked the doctor afterward if it could have caused the trauma, he insisted that it was just bad luck and nothing more. But somebody  close to the family suggested to me that it had been my fault, and no matter how vehemently I denied it to her, I was angry and forlorn.

Thus began a year of not being that nice to myself. I was probably suffering some form of postpartum depression as well, and I set about holding myself accountable for both things that were in and out of my control. I sought perfection, and it wasn’t sustainable. I began to heal.

JAB was part of my healing process. I gave myself permission to be fun for a while and to try new things. I took up the guitar, started this blog, and began trying things I’d never tried before. I wanted to see what I could do, however imperfectly. It was humbling. I stink at the guitar, but I love it. The blog has been just fine, but not anything super special. And I’m not perfect, but boy, I’d like to think that I’m special.

Along the road, I met lots of blog friends who supported me. Alice and Dorothy, who continued to help me whenever I needed it despite the fact that they are big news and I am not. So many big-time bloggers never give anyone the time of day, but they did. I will always consider them friends. Cheyanne and Annie and Kate, who felt like friends in the struggle, and who are all magnificent. Gayle, who has achieved so much so quickly. Lisa, whose sense of humor I relate to like crazy. And endless more people I spent parts of my virtual week with. I’ll still visit their blogs, but I’ll miss the interaction.

What I discovered on my week off is that I am still as busy as I was before, but I have the space now to give everybody and everything a little more time. My children now have more of my undivided attention on weekends, and that’s priceless. Plus, for the first time in years, I picked up a spiritual text and started reading it. I’ve been avoiding religious texts since the incident years ago, not sure of how to tackle some of my biggest spiritual questions. Now I want to face my fears and get on with living.

As I said last week, I’m taking a break. I don’t know how permanent this is, or if I’ll miss JAB so much that I’ll be back within a few weeks. No idea. But I have to give myself this time, and we’ll go from there. Hope your autumn goes beautifully, and I’ll miss you for now!

I do that a lot in the fall. My baking this time of year contains a lot of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves. If I take something out of the oven right before I head up to bed, I can actually drift off for the night with all those autumn spices whirling around my senses. I highly recommend you try it.

Even though it’s soaring back up to the 90s this week here in the sunny DC area, I’ve been baking for crunchy leaves and cooler breezes since Labor Day ended. This cake is no exception, and it’s magnificent. The base is pumpkin goodness, filled with all those lovely spices and chocolate chips. Did I mention that the whole cake is smothered in a rich chocolate glaze?

Last week was full of mishaps. As in, just a terrible week. On Wednesday I was at work when I learned that one of my teachers had fallen, so I rushed down the hall to check on her. On my way, I slipped in a stealth water spill and fell down too. Irony? The teacher was fine, but I couldn’t walk so well. I had to get to the urgent care clinic because my doctor wouldn’t see me without some kind of crazy workman’s comp claim number that I could’ve easily given him later (can I rant about healthcare sometime soon?) for an x-ray. Luckily, nothing was broken, but I’m very swollen and bruised.

To compound that (yes, I’m complaining), I had a 22-mile commute the next day to a training class. I don’t like commuting. More complaining.

That evening was Back to School Night, which means I had to be on my A-game to meet with parents. I put a pair of sneakers on over my bandaged foot (not my typical Back to School Night uniform of cute dress and heels) and went to work from my training class. When I opened my mouth, I realized that the fun continued. My voice was going.

See, I’ve had a cold for about a week, but it’s just been hovering. Do you ever have a hovering cold? It’s kind of polite in nature. It doesn’t intrude too much into your life except in the early morning or late at night, but then it really intrudes. No warning, and BAM! Suddenly, you’re going mute in front of parents.

By the next day, I had to face down my students with no voice at all. I spent the day croaking and rasping at them and feeling completely done in. Thank heaven the next day was Saturday. It was time to sit down and shut up. I was never gladder to do both.

One day into the weekend, and things are looking up. My foot is very bruised and still somewhat swollen, but it’s getting better. My voice is a light rasp now as opposed to completely silent, so yay. And I can bake even without a foot or a voice, so that’s the best news of all.

This cake is lovely. I don’t usually pair butter with pumpkin, but special occasions call for a fancier cake. What occasion, you might ask? Feeling better, y’all!

Because pumpkin and chocolate chip is the best combo ever, I had to put them into a decadent bundt with the best chocolate glaze in existence. This is my favorite glaze recipe bar none. It’s super easy, and it’s thicker than most glazes. It’s impossible not to love!

Last week was full of mishaps, but this week will be better and full of cake. It’s not how many times we fall, but how many times we determinedly get back up again. That’s what really matters!

If that sounds pretentious or immodest, please understand that I have a ton of baking fails as well, so whenever things go my way, I get super excited. This is one of those times.

This cake is autumn in a pan. When you bake it, your house will smell ah-may-zing. If we’re getting technical, this cake is the combined glory of cocoa, banana, pumpkin, and chocolate chips along with lovely fall spices like cinnamon and cloves. You’ve gotta bake it to believe it!

Before I get back to cake, I’m going to abruptly shift topic and talk about life 15 years ago.

As you all know, the 15th anniversary of 9/11 occurred two days ago. It occurred to me that I’ve never written down my own version of that day. You see, everyone has their own story about that day, just like people who were around the day that Kennedy got shot have stories. My story isn’t that interesting, but it’s mine. I wanted to write it down somewhere.

My original plan on September 11th, 2001 was to go to work and then move. As in, move into my first single-girl apartment ever in Washington, D.C. I’d never lived alone, and I had just started my job. Everything was new, exciting, and scary.

I remember being preoccupied by many mundane details. My futon was being delivered later that day, and I was hoping I’d make it back from my suburban high school to the new city pad in time to receive it. On the job end, I’d just started teaching high school seniors, and they were a tough crew. I was worried about it, and that’s kind of where I was mentally that day.

A lot of people remember a beautiful early September day. I don’t. I honestly was too much in my own head that day to notice anything. Well, until.

My problematic senior class had just ended when a student came back into the classroom and told me to turn on the TV. I had a typical teacher reaction; in other words, I said no. But he said, “You don’t understand. Please, this is important. Something is happening on the news.”

Something in his eyes made me reach for the remote and turn on the TV. The rest you know, because we experienced it together as a nation. Watching the first plane, then the second, followed by anger and confusion and worry. Hearing conflicting reports about which planes were touching down where. The Pentagon, the field in Pennsylvania. It all came together slowly and in a nightmarish, jumbled way.

Obviously, I didn’t move to D.C. that day. I moved on September 13th, where I looked around the undecorated walls of my tiny apartment and felt alone and afraid. New city, new job, new world. It was probably the most off-kilter I’d ever been at that point in my life, and the emotions alone had me in alt for quite a while.

That’s pretty much it. Not an exciting or distinctive story, but mine. I wanted to tell it sometime, and now I have.

Moving on to cake now seems absolutely uncalled for, but that’s the nature of life. It’s hard to know when to move from the serious to the frivolous, and it’s important to find balance in that spectrum.

This time of year, I find it comforting to bake with some of my favorite autumn spices: cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg. Another wonderful option is pumpkin pie spice. I don’t use that in this cake, but it’s also a great choice.

This healthier cake is butter-free. It also has hefty doses of both pumpkin and banana for extra moisture, so it’s a truly delightful experience. The chocolate chips don’t hurt, either!

Every September, I remember days gone by and look forward to the future. We all have memories and stories that make up who we are. Some of them are painful, while others are full of happy nostalgia. I hope that our more difficult times can help us appreciate all the good things in life that we’re lucky enough to experience.

Do you know what time it is? That’s right, kiddos. It’s back to school time!

As a teacher, I approach this time of year with a mingling of regret and excitement. I’m looking forward to a fresh new year, and I’m also looking forward to having my kids out of the house doing productive work. But you know, I do love the summer sunshine. And the flexible hours. So yeah…I’m torn.

With everything getting very busy (very fast, might I add), I need to be ready with great after-school snacks. When all of us get home from school, some refueling is definitely in order. These banana chocolate chip muffins are a perfect way to unwind and get ready for homework time, especially when I pair them with NESTLÉ® NESQUIK® Powder. The kids are pretty happy to settle in with their muffins and Nesquik, and I do it right along with them!

This year, I’m more anxious than usual to meet my kids with an energetic frame of mind when they come home from school. My son (who is also my oldest) has always come home and done his homework without much struggle, and I realize that makes me lucky. He gets home around four, has his snack, and then takes a break for about fifteen minutes before taking out his books and getting to work. He’s in the third grade, by the way. And yes, he has a lot of homework.

My middle child is going to be starting with homework this year in first grade, and that’s why I’m a little nervous. She’s a very smart little girl, but she’s also an artist. Her favorite thing to do is come home and draw for hours. My temperament is similar, so I know how hard homework was for me growing up. I want to make sure that I’m there to support her, but it’s hard to be patient and fully with it after a day of teaching. That’s where snack time comes in!

For my kids and me, that snack time after school is where we come together and check in on one another. I can gauge moods, figure out if anything traumatic or good happened to the kids, and just take a few minutes to breathe before we all get back to work in that pre-dinner time. It’s important that we connect, and it’s also important that we have some nutrients while we’re at it.

While we were at the beach last week for a final summer hurrah, I looked at the tired bananas on the counter at our rented beach house (yes, tired bananas follow me around) and knew that I wanted to start snacks off right this year. As soon as we got home (tired bananas in tow), I ran out to Target to get some Nesquik so we’d have a great pairing with these banana chocolate chips muffins. Then, I started baking. These muffins freeze like a charm, and I wanted to be ready for the first week of school!

My kids were pretty excited when they saw the muffins, but they were even happier when they saw the Nesquik. Nobody can resist a bunny, after all! And I love the fact that Nesquik is low in sugar, has no artificial colors or flavors, and is full of both vitamins and minerals as well as protein (when combined with milk). Translation: the kids (and I) stay full until dinnertime, and we also have the energy to tackle all that homework!

If you’d like to be ready for the oncoming onslaught of school and the nutritional needs that arise, be ready! You can pick up Nesquik right now with this Cartwheel Offer at Target (for Nesquik Powder and ready-to-drink bottles, valid 8/21/2016-8/27/2016 with 15% off 18.7oz powder and 10 packs of bottles), and the muffins almost make themselves. If you don’t have a gluten-free diet, subbing in regular flour will also work. They’ll be great either way!

How do you get ready for back to school? It’s an exciting time, but a busy one. Be prepared!

The week should be winding down, which is good. My head is packed with to-do lists and tasks, and it’s always a good feeling when Friday evening hits and everything comes to a halt. No calls, no texts, no notifications. Just me and the fam!

When life gets crazy, cups of tea are important. Sometimes, I need a little more than just tea to calm down, and that’s where a good cookie companion comes into play. These Eastern European cookies are very similar to biscotti, but they’re built on a smaller scale and have a little more softness to them. The traditional version just contains nuts, but I added chocolate chips and a nice sprinkling of cinnamon sugar on top. You can’t go wrong with that!

As I write this, I’m halfway listening to my daughter’s tutoring session. She’s entering first grade, and I’m that crazy mom who wants to make sure that her math and reading are up to par before the school year starts. In case nobody told you, first grade is where things get serious. No more free play or downtime, except for recess. They drive those kids hard. And there’s not really a transition from the free and easy days of yore, so it can be quite a shock for the kids.

Not to mention the parents. I really dislike coming home from a day of teaching to, well, do it some more. I love teaching other people’s kids, but my own? Not so much. There’s too much emotion involved, and it mixes business with personal. Trying to be patient while teaching your own kid to master basic math can send anyone to the loony bin.

So, for the sake of sanity, I hired a tutor. It’ll be easier on my daughter and easier on me, and she’ll be ready for all that homework. It seems like a good solution, even though when I was in first grade, I didn’t know what a tutor was. Times change and all that.

Since working is the opposite of winding down and Friday evenings only come once a week, I’m very into enforced chillaxing. That’s where a tea and cookie break comes into play!

My favorite part of this recipe is that, aside from mixing up in one bowl, it’s also butter-free. In other words, it’s kind of on the healthier side. No objections from this quarter!

I hope you have a relaxing weekend free of all hard work. We all need some chillaxing!

Like, I’ve heard that winning the lottery is pretty awesome. But if that happens to you, you’re not supposed to tell anyone or they’ll be trying to bum your winnings. I guess you’re supposed to pretend that the new mansion (complete with pool, personal trainer and stylist) came from a modest amount that a rich uncle left you upon his passing.

Fresh bread is nothing to keep secret. Oh, no. You have to share it liberally, announcing to one and all that you have a fresh loaf to be eaten. Especially a loaf like this one. It’s got a delicious almond chocolate filling, so it bridges the gap between actual food and dessert. I had it for breakfast!

My son’s birthday was this past weekend, following hard on the heels of Purim, a celebratory Jewish holiday. I’ll show you my Cruella DeVil outfit in a bit. Suffice it to say, we had a busy four days of straight partying. My kids are so sugared up that they can’t see straight.

Celebrations are nice, but for the people who throw them, they’re nothing short of one thing after another. Like, I forgot the birthday candles. Yep, totally spaced them. Luckily, the boy’s cake was blinged out enough without one.

And my Cruella costume was lacking actual fur. For one thing, I couldn’t bring myself to wear one. For another, it was 75 degrees out.

Okay, back to bread. Say hello to your bread machine, because it does all the work for you! Have I mentioned how in love with my bread machine I am? Have I? Have I?

Yeah, yeah, I know. But this miraculous contraption literally lets me set it and forget it, which not a whole lot of life allows anybody to do. Imagine if we could just set and forget everything, from dinner to housework to actual work. Then we wouldn’t need to win the lottery in order to have personal assistants and whatnot.

This bread is made doubly simple by the filling. It’s simply the almond pastry spread they sell in the bakery aisle combined with mini chocolate chips. See? No effort, folks! I’m down with that!

And who can resist the sprinkling of almonds on top? Not me!

It’s been a crazy week, folks, and now I’m heading for some much-needed downtime over spring break. Join me in relaxing over a slice or two of bread!

Lately, I’ve been all about the recipes you throw into a bowl and mix together. No mixer, no butter to cream. Not only is that absence of butter healthier, but the actual baking process is just a teeny bit simpler. So why not?

This particular bread is filling and hearty, but full of chocolate chips just to brighten your Friday morning breakfast. Anyone wanna argue with that? I didn’t think so.

If you’ve heard me talk about my job before (my other one, not the blogging gig) as a high school English teacher, you know I love it. There’s not much that is more energizing than spending the day teaching and learning, and if not for the whole having to grade papers thing, it would be the perfect job.

I’m heading into my 17th year as a teacher next year, and it’s given me a lot to reflect about. When I first began teaching, there was so much fear. I thought I wouldn’t be able to reach kids, or help them, or manage a classroom. And while I worked through those fears as the years went on, this job allows nobody to become complacent. The second I decide I have it all figured out is when I get knocked for a loop.

Humility is a huge part of staying successful in teaching, and probably in other fields as well. Every now and then we read about actors or athletes whose stars burn brightly and then explode (in a bad way). Among these stories is a common thread: they weren’t humble enough. They thought they were irreplaceable.

Sadly, we’re all expendable professionally. I might be a good teacher, but there are a bazillion more lined up and waiting to do my job, so I have to give it my all. And in order to do that, I need a good breakfast every morning before I face my amazing students.

This oatmeal chocolate chip bread is incredibly simple. As I mentioned, all you do is mix everything up. No special equipment is necessary. And when you’re done, the result is a not-too-sweet breakfast treat. Actually, I also ate it after work.

However you spend your professional time, it’s important to realize how lucky we are to be given opportunities. Having self-confidence is important, but translating that to an over-inflated sense of ego is where it can all go wrong.  Be good enough, and strive to be great. But never forget that it takes constant effort and humility to keep your star in the sky.

In my world, pie lives or dies by the crust. In other words, I don’t bother with pies that have mediocre crusts. That’s why this puppy has its own unique pecan shortbread crust. It’s so good.

Pecan pie isn’t something I discovered until my college days, but I’ve made up for plenty of lost time. And I’ve added chocolate to the mix, which is never a problem. At least, not for me. But you can leave it out if you like. Cue my sad face.

I need some tofu help, y’all. Whenever we go out, I really love eating tofu. It’s tasty with the right sauces and prepared well. But mine is not that good. See, I don’t like covering my tofu in sugary sauce, and that’s often the best way to make it. And I also don’t deep fry anything, ever. So can you guys share some of your tofu wisdom with me? I need something quick and easy.

Dinner is a challenge, not gonna lie. Every week, I come up with a dinner plan for each night based on everyone’s preferences. My son is a lost cause, since he eats pretty much two things in life. I work around Kenny’s gluten-free thing, my own aversion to beans, and the fact that we follow a kosher diet, which has a very long list of restrictions.

Truth be told, I’m tired of planning dinner, and I’m only ten years into life as someone who has to cook every night for other people. A small part of me misses the days when I was single and dinner could be a brownie, or half a bag of chips, or nothing. Sometimes I just napped through dinner and watched TV until bed.

How many of you really love planning dinner? When it comes to baking dessert, I’ll do it anytime. But dinner isn’t as much of a creative process, and therefore, it’s a chore. Plus, there are always kids needing help with homework or just jockeying for attention while dinner has to magically be made.

So, back to tofu. Any ideas? It’s gotta be vegetarian, not hard, no beans. Help me out here!

One thing I don’t need any help with is pie. One of the first pies I ever baked was a pecan pie because they’re so easy. Just mix and pour. No problem!

To spice things up a bit, this pecan shortbread crust is the base, and you will need a pastry blender or willing hands to make the texture of the crust crumbly before pressing it into the pie pan. But really, that’s the hardest part, and it’s not that bad.

I dumped a lot of chocolate chips in here, thus creating the melty goodness, and photographed this pie right out of the oven, since pecan pie is good warm. But if you want it to set up more, the chips float to the top along with the pecans while the bottom layer of pie is that sticky, gooey filling. However you like to eat the pie, do it that way. I chilled this after the photo shoot because I actually like my pie cold. Don’t mock.

Some cooking is a chore, but not all of it. Tofu and dinner planning might not be my bag, but I’ll make a pie any day. Who’s with me?

Last night, I sent Kenny to the grocery store for supplies, and I asked him to buy me a giant cookie so I could lug it to work the next day. Sometimes, lunch is a giant cookie.

Imagine my disappointment when he came home without it. The store had none, so he gave me a bag of Snickers minis instead. I was grateful and all, but I really wanted that giant cookie. A chocolate chip one, to be exact. Well, you know what they say. If you want something done right, be prepared to stay up all night to get it done. No wonder I’m cranky.

For the record, I don’t understand night owls. How do people stay up hour after hour when it’s cold and dark outside, being productive? The very idea is totally foreign to me. Those hours are for sleeping, not for making coffee and powering through your e-mail inbox.

But then, when people talk to me about how I spend my mornings, I start to feel like a weirdo. Anyone else out there like to get up at the crack of dawn, work out, and then get to work by six to get stuff done? Anyone? Crickets?

It’s a damn lucky thing we’re all wired differently. Except when it comes to lusting after George Clooney. He’s not my particular bag, but a disproportionate number of people seem to have a thing for him. And I do acknowledge that he’s quite handsome.

What else can people agree on? Dessert? Nope. I was talking to the father of my son’s friend the other day, and he told me that he never much cared for dessert. It doesn’t do anything for him. This man is very thin, too, so I totally believed him. Again, no way I can understand  that point of view. If food doesn’t make this dude happy, what does? He must be much cooler and more spiritual than most of us, eating just when he gets hungry and only the most nutritious, fuel-rich food.

I’m not jealous, actually. When I think about it, a life of not craving dessert doesn’t sound very nice. And neither does staying up late. Or marrying George Clooney. But all that might sound really good to you, so let’s be glad we’re different and embrace it!

Let’s also share this delightful mega chocolate chip cookie the size of my head. Can we agree to do that?

Really, mega cookies are so where it’s at. Not everyone wants to bake a huge batch of cookies. What if you’re not feeding a huge family? What if you don’t want 36 cookies hanging around to tempt you? Then just make one. It’s appallingly easy.

I use egg substitute in my recipe to make it easier to measure a fraction of an egg, but you can sub in the equal amount of beaten egg. It’s totally your call. It won’t make much of a difference either way. In the end, there will be a cookie! One that you can dig into with just a flick of your wrist. See?

A fantastic cookie, no less. One that you can take to work on rainy days and eat for lunch. Or with lunch. Depends how hungry you get. We’re all wired differently, right?

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s all of eight in the evening and I really need to get ready for bed. Today has been so exhausting.

To which I reply, “Um…wheat?”

Yep, it’s hard to make him forget just how great that gluten is. Which is why I’m so grateful that along with the recipes I make for him from scratch, there are people out there who make really good gluten-free refrigerated cookie dough. The Immaculate Baking brand is his (and my) favorite. The ingredients are free of chemicals and the cookies are nice and chewy. If you can’t find that brand at your local store, you can substitute two packages of your favorite gluten-free refrigerated cookie dough in this recipe.

On Valentine’s Day, I made him this cookie cake in a heart shape. But normally, I’ll just use a 9-inch round cake pan. The recipe is incredibly easy, and the best part is that this cookie cake has layers. You put Oreos (or in this case, Glutino brand gluten-free chocolate cream sandwich cookies) between two glorious giant discs of cookie dough and it comes out like a happy giant cookie layer cake!

Enormously simple, and very gratifying. Even your friends who happily consume gluten will go for this. I brought this into the office and nobody even realized that the flour was missing. It disappeared very quickly.

The important trick to this cake is putting a thin strip of foil around the edges of the pan during baking. If you don’t, then the edges will brown before the center is cooked. Also, cut a round of parchment paper to fit the pan and put it down, greased with cooking spray, before starting to pack in the cookie dough. That will guarantee the cookie’s easy release.

You can frost the cookie cake, too. I didn’t this time around, but it wasn’t anybody’s birthday and I was in a lazy mood. But either chocolate or vanilla frosting would be a great addition!

So if you have five minutes and some cookie dough, you are good to go!

Ingredients:

• 1 package Gluten-Free refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough
• 1 package Gluten-Free refrigerated double chocolate chunk cookie dough
• 1 package gluten-free chocolate cream sandwich cookies

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350. Cut a piece of parchment paper to fit the bottom of a 9-inch round cake pan. Put the parchment in and cover the pan with cooking spray.

Crumble the chocolate chip cookie dough and press it into the bottom of the pan evenly. Then, put a layer of chocolate cream sandwich cookies on top of the cookie dough, being sure to cover the whole surface. Crumble the double chocolate chunk dough on top of the cookies and, once again, press the dough down evenly.

Line the edges of the pan with a thin strip of foil (as indicated in blog post above) and bake for 25 minutes.

Allow the cookie cake to cool completely. Then, run a knife around the circumference of the pan to loosen the cake and turn it onto a plate. Serve as is or frost and decorate with a gluten-free frosting!