Seriously, it’s been a weird week. When I stepped back from the blog, I found out something interesting. A few things, actually. I’ll share them momentarily.

I’ll also share this chocolate chip streusel banana bread, which is heaven. How can it not be? It’s the most perfect banana bread, all filled and topped with chocolate chips and the most delightful, crumbly streusel.

Back when JAB began, I had just come away from a traumatic life event. I’ve talked about it before, and so I’ll just quickly summarize. My youngest daughter had a dangerous birth with an abrupted placenta, and both she and I went into distress. I remember looking at the ceiling as everything went blurry, struggling to breathe, watching Kenny tending to the baby and thinking, “I’m going to die alone.” It was not a moment I’d like to repeat, though someday I will, of course.

Afterward, I blamed myself. She’d been breech, and I’d been doing a lot of alternative methods to try and turn her, like acupuncture and chiropractic maneuvers. All of these were doctor-approved, and when I asked the doctor afterward if it could have caused the trauma, he insisted that it was just bad luck and nothing more. But somebody  close to the family suggested to me that it had been my fault, and no matter how vehemently I denied it to her, I was angry and forlorn.

Thus began a year of not being that nice to myself. I was probably suffering some form of postpartum depression as well, and I set about holding myself accountable for both things that were in and out of my control. I sought perfection, and it wasn’t sustainable. I began to heal.

JAB was part of my healing process. I gave myself permission to be fun for a while and to try new things. I took up the guitar, started this blog, and began trying things I’d never tried before. I wanted to see what I could do, however imperfectly. It was humbling. I stink at the guitar, but I love it. The blog has been just fine, but not anything super special. And I’m not perfect, but boy, I’d like to think that I’m special.

Along the road, I met lots of blog friends who supported me. Alice and Dorothy, who continued to help me whenever I needed it despite the fact that they are big news and I am not. So many big-time bloggers never give anyone the time of day, but they did. I will always consider them friends. Cheyanne and Annie and Kate, who felt like friends in the struggle, and who are all magnificent. Gayle, who has achieved so much so quickly. Lisa, whose sense of humor I relate to like crazy. And endless more people I spent parts of my virtual week with. I’ll still visit their blogs, but I’ll miss the interaction.

What I discovered on my week off is that I am still as busy as I was before, but I have the space now to give everybody and everything a little more time. My children now have more of my undivided attention on weekends, and that’s priceless. Plus, for the first time in years, I picked up a spiritual text and started reading it. I’ve been avoiding religious texts since the incident years ago, not sure of how to tackle some of my biggest spiritual questions. Now I want to face my fears and get on with living.

As I said last week, I’m taking a break. I don’t know how permanent this is, or if I’ll miss JAB so much that I’ll be back within a few weeks. No idea. But I have to give myself this time, and we’ll go from there. Hope your autumn goes beautifully, and I’ll miss you for now!

If that sounds pretentious or immodest, please understand that I have a ton of baking fails as well, so whenever things go my way, I get super excited. This is one of those times.

This cake is autumn in a pan. When you bake it, your house will smell ah-may-zing. If we’re getting technical, this cake is the combined glory of cocoa, banana, pumpkin, and chocolate chips along with lovely fall spices like cinnamon and cloves. You’ve gotta bake it to believe it!

Before I get back to cake, I’m going to abruptly shift topic and talk about life 15 years ago.

As you all know, the 15th anniversary of 9/11 occurred two days ago. It occurred to me that I’ve never written down my own version of that day. You see, everyone has their own story about that day, just like people who were around the day that Kennedy got shot have stories. My story isn’t that interesting, but it’s mine. I wanted to write it down somewhere.

My original plan on September 11th, 2001 was to go to work and then move. As in, move into my first single-girl apartment ever in Washington, D.C. I’d never lived alone, and I had just started my job. Everything was new, exciting, and scary.

I remember being preoccupied by many mundane details. My futon was being delivered later that day, and I was hoping I’d make it back from my suburban high school to the new city pad in time to receive it. On the job end, I’d just started teaching high school seniors, and they were a tough crew. I was worried about it, and that’s kind of where I was mentally that day.

A lot of people remember a beautiful early September day. I don’t. I honestly was too much in my own head that day to notice anything. Well, until.

My problematic senior class had just ended when a student came back into the classroom and told me to turn on the TV. I had a typical teacher reaction; in other words, I said no. But he said, “You don’t understand. Please, this is important. Something is happening on the news.”

Something in his eyes made me reach for the remote and turn on the TV. The rest you know, because we experienced it together as a nation. Watching the first plane, then the second, followed by anger and confusion and worry. Hearing conflicting reports about which planes were touching down where. The Pentagon, the field in Pennsylvania. It all came together slowly and in a nightmarish, jumbled way.

Obviously, I didn’t move to D.C. that day. I moved on September 13th, where I looked around the undecorated walls of my tiny apartment and felt alone and afraid. New city, new job, new world. It was probably the most off-kilter I’d ever been at that point in my life, and the emotions alone had me in alt for quite a while.

That’s pretty much it. Not an exciting or distinctive story, but mine. I wanted to tell it sometime, and now I have.

Moving on to cake now seems absolutely uncalled for, but that’s the nature of life. It’s hard to know when to move from the serious to the frivolous, and it’s important to find balance in that spectrum.

This time of year, I find it comforting to bake with some of my favorite autumn spices: cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg. Another wonderful option is pumpkin pie spice. I don’t use that in this cake, but it’s also a great choice.

This healthier cake is butter-free. It also has hefty doses of both pumpkin and banana for extra moisture, so it’s a truly delightful experience. The chocolate chips don’t hurt, either!

Every September, I remember days gone by and look forward to the future. We all have memories and stories that make up who we are. Some of them are painful, while others are full of happy nostalgia. I hope that our more difficult times can help us appreciate all the good things in life that we’re lucky enough to experience.

Do you know what time it is? That’s right, kiddos. It’s back to school time!

As a teacher, I approach this time of year with a mingling of regret and excitement. I’m looking forward to a fresh new year, and I’m also looking forward to having my kids out of the house doing productive work. But you know, I do love the summer sunshine. And the flexible hours. So yeah…I’m torn.

With everything getting very busy (very fast, might I add), I need to be ready with great after-school snacks. When all of us get home from school, some refueling is definitely in order. These banana chocolate chip muffins are a perfect way to unwind and get ready for homework time, especially when I pair them with NESTLÉ® NESQUIK® Powder. The kids are pretty happy to settle in with their muffins and Nesquik, and I do it right along with them!

This year, I’m more anxious than usual to meet my kids with an energetic frame of mind when they come home from school. My son (who is also my oldest) has always come home and done his homework without much struggle, and I realize that makes me lucky. He gets home around four, has his snack, and then takes a break for about fifteen minutes before taking out his books and getting to work. He’s in the third grade, by the way. And yes, he has a lot of homework.

My middle child is going to be starting with homework this year in first grade, and that’s why I’m a little nervous. She’s a very smart little girl, but she’s also an artist. Her favorite thing to do is come home and draw for hours. My temperament is similar, so I know how hard homework was for me growing up. I want to make sure that I’m there to support her, but it’s hard to be patient and fully with it after a day of teaching. That’s where snack time comes in!

For my kids and me, that snack time after school is where we come together and check in on one another. I can gauge moods, figure out if anything traumatic or good happened to the kids, and just take a few minutes to breathe before we all get back to work in that pre-dinner time. It’s important that we connect, and it’s also important that we have some nutrients while we’re at it.

While we were at the beach last week for a final summer hurrah, I looked at the tired bananas on the counter at our rented beach house (yes, tired bananas follow me around) and knew that I wanted to start snacks off right this year. As soon as we got home (tired bananas in tow), I ran out to Target to get some Nesquik so we’d have a great pairing with these banana chocolate chips muffins. Then, I started baking. These muffins freeze like a charm, and I wanted to be ready for the first week of school!

My kids were pretty excited when they saw the muffins, but they were even happier when they saw the Nesquik. Nobody can resist a bunny, after all! And I love the fact that Nesquik is low in sugar, has no artificial colors or flavors, and is full of both vitamins and minerals as well as protein (when combined with milk). Translation: the kids (and I) stay full until dinnertime, and we also have the energy to tackle all that homework!

If you’d like to be ready for the oncoming onslaught of school and the nutritional needs that arise, be ready! You can pick up Nesquik right now with this Cartwheel Offer at Target (for Nesquik Powder and ready-to-drink bottles, valid 8/21/2016-8/27/2016 with 15% off 18.7oz powder and 10 packs of bottles), and the muffins almost make themselves. If you don’t have a gluten-free diet, subbing in regular flour will also work. They’ll be great either way!

How do you get ready for back to school? It’s an exciting time, but a busy one. Be prepared!

I’ve been on a banana kick this summer, and it’s probably just me making up for lost time. I barely posted any banana recipes in the first two years of the blog, so this summer it’s just bananas all the time. Plus, I don’t like to keep them on the counter in the summer. The bugs, they will come.

Plus, this feels like the right time to write about this cake. There’s a slice of it on my desk in my new office, and I’m looking out at the tree by my window and contemplating happy thoughts. Why not add a moist banana cake filled with both peanut butter cups and peanut butter chips to the mix? A gluten-free one, might I add?

I’ve never had a tree by a window where I work, and I’m finding it to be a very cheerful thing. There’s something about connecting to nature when you spend the day encased in cinder block that is very soothing.

The cinder block leads me to my big question here. You ready? Adhesive.

Yes, I said adhesive. I’ve been doing a lot of wall mounting as I set up this office, and things keep falling down. Seriously, one crash after another. I’ve been using adhesive mountings because I can’t make holes in the wall, but it’s not going well. You see, cinder block is very resistant to adhesive.

Any tips? And no, super glue is not one of them. I can’t do that. Or crazy glue. Or any glue at all. Can you help me before I lose my mind? If I hear one more thing come crashing to the floor, I might run for the hills.

A few months ago, I made this banana toffee snack cake, and people loooooved it. Seriously, I can never predict what people will go for. I make the most amazing thing and the pictures turn out great, and barely a reaction. But sometimes, a recipe just goes sailing through the interweb in the most gloriously unpredictable way.

This, then, is an experiment. I used the same cake base, but I changed up the mix-ins. To be honest, I love both versions. If they were my children, I’d love both equally. But as a peanut butter lover, I’d have to direct you toward this one. I mean, come on. It’s so happy.

Like my other banana recipes, this one is effortlessly gluten-free, thanks to oat flour. And it’s also super easy with no mixer or crazy bowl action needed. That means if I see a banana on the counter, it’s getting baked. This recipe is too simple not to go for it.

If you have any help to give me with adhesive matters, let me know. I need it. Pleeeeeeease!

Well, I do. I know, I know. No-bake treats are all the rage this time of year, but heck, I like to bake. A baker’s gonna bake. That’s how it goes. That’s why somebody smart invented air conditioning.

Every weekend, I find myself staring at tired bananas. They call to me, and sometimes I ignore them. That’s usually when I’m just as tired as they are. But sometimes I cut them up and freeze them for smoothies that I never really make, and that’s an effort right there. But if I’m feeling really energetic and serious, I’ll bake them into something. And this double chocolate chunk banana bread is probably one of the best ways ever to use those bananas!

Speaking of bananas, I’m going bananas. Really. My activity level has ratcheted up to a crazy degree. I’m at work all the time except on weekends, when I’m thinking about being at work. It’s great being energized, full of ideas, and fired on all cylinders. On the other hand, the people I love are starting to get concerned. My mom offered Kenny and me an overnight trip away from it all so that I don’t burn out early in this new job. Isn’t she the best mom ever?

The truth is, I have gotten used to being able to do lots of things at the same time, but I don’t know how long I can keep that up. I’ve given up cake decorating class and guitar lessons for now, both of which hurt to let go. Those are fun activities, but they’re also time commitments I just don’t have right now. I told my guitar teacher that I’ll pick it back up when I get my footing at work.

The blog is, quite frankly, another concern. Since I took up JAB, I’ve been posting consistently 3-4 times a week. There’s no way that can continue, and Kenny has suggested I knock it down to twice a week. I’m thinking about it, people. I’ll keep you posted. This blog is not just a nice little side business; it’s also a source of passion. It’s just hard sometimes keeping all the balls in the air, especially with my crew at home to take care of.

On that ominous note, let’s focus on the good stuff. Namely, this double chocolate chunk banana bread!

It’s actually pretty healthy, and it’s gluten-free as well. The bread is made with Greek yogurt for added softness and moisture, and cocoa gives it the lovely chocolatey dark color. I filled the bread with dark chocolate chunks, and that’s pretty much all, folks!

Right now, life is stretching me in 50 different directions and I’m adjusting. Stay with me during this time and keep reminding me that it’s okay to be human and occasionally post twice a week. Maybe I’ll start listening!

My family, of course. My kids are still at that age when they want me around all the time, so I’ve been peeling them off me as I head to the car to go to work. It’s a nice feeling, being wanted. I know they won’t always feel that way, so I’m enjoying that. And Kenny is my rock, the one who listens to me talk endlessly when I’m decompressing after a long day.

But let’s not forget you all! JAB is one of my constants as well, and I love the rhythm of baking for the blog. Nothing is quite so relaxing as mixing things together. This week, I decided that the tired bananas on my counter needed a little more than just the usual treatment, so I got sneaky and put a cheesecake filling into the center. Hello, beautiful!

I’m pretty proud of the fact that when bananas turn brown in my house, my son points them out and says, “Time to bake!” That’s right. He knows! I’m proud. Everyone also knows to ask if I’ve taken pictures of dessert yet before they dig in. Life in the home of a food blogger, people. It’s a party every day.

When you bake this much, you fall into the habit of having really good stuff around. Homemade stuff, the good stuff. So as a result, the packaged stuff becomes the treat. It’s a very bizarre reversal of the norm, where I’ll see a package of machine-made chocolate chip cookies and get really excited. I guess novelty has charm, huh? There’s something about that processed taste!

A lot of it is nostalgia, too. When I was growing up, my source of almost all dessert food was Entenmann’s or those really cheap grocery store brand cookies. To this day, no donut tastes better than an Entenmann’s rich chocolate frosted donut with a glass of milk. It’s like my childhood comes rushing back at me with each bite.

Food is a time machine, people. I think there’s no more reliable way to travel to childhood than to eat those foods you ate way back when. Nothing is quite as evocative or powerful. Maybe it’s because taste is such an integral part of our sensory spectrum, along with the sense of smell.

My love of banana in cake or quick bread also goes back to childhood. Now and then, my mom would take those brown bananas on the counter and make a banana bread. I never understood how a fruit that I felt pretty indifferent about (and now don’t eat as an adult unless it’s baked into something) could be the base of such a delicious dessert. That, in a nutshell, is the wonder of baking, and why I never cease to be fascinated at what a little bit of oven and lovin’ can do.

This snack cake is gluten-free, moist, and filled with a very simple cheesecake filling. It’s just cream cheese, sugar and egg. That’s it! The cake is also simplicity itself, all coming together in one bowl. Like childhood, it’s not that complicated. Oh, wait. Childhood is very complicated. I remember!

No matter how old we are, we can always go through adjustments. It’s important to have those constants in our lives that ground us and make us feel connected to something that represents a greater scheme. Along the path, it doesn’t hurt to have a lovely cake with a hidden layer of cheesecake to make life even more fun!

Every time I post a butterscotch recipe, I talk about how I don’t ever remember to bake with it. But when I do, it’s the best flavor explosion. I’m trying to do it more often, and the overripe bananas on my countertop always present a fantastic opportunity.

If you are one of those people who craves moist (sorry if you dislike that word, but whatever) banana bread with crunchy pecans and sweet butterscotch chips, look no further. This bread is your soul mate! And it’s effortlessly gluten-free, too.

I’ve spent the past few days packing up the high school that I’ve been privileged enough to teach at for most of my career. I’ll be the English department chair at my new school and I’m excited about the change, but it’s definitely tough to leave a school I’ve loved so much. I’ve had the best students, the best colleagues, and just the best time ever. Teaching can be a total blast.

When I started packing the other day, I quickly became horrified at just how much stuff I’ve acquired over the years. We’re talking 10 full boxes of stuff, plus three giant file bins, plus bags of odds and ends. When I texted Kenny pics of all my packed-up possessions, his response was “good grief” followed by “digitize.” I then had to launch into an explanation of how much teachers need to do instruction every day, all day, for years and years. We teach an awful lot of content, and that equals a lot of files. Plus, we make what are called “class sets,” which are sets of 30 copies for all our students, which we save from year to year. That way, no extra paper wasting. It all adds up!

Still, I have this image of bursting into my new school with all this stuff and scaring my new colleagues. So I might want to take it in there gradually under the cover of night or something. That way, I’ll seem halfway sane. And I’m not even going to explain this whole baking blogger thing I do for quite a while. People accuse me of doing too much, and they’re probably right, but busy is good!

Some people are afraid of change, but if it’s a change with potential for growth, I really embrace it. So know that these next several months will be insane for me, but I’ll be a happy camper! You all know that I keep myself in dessert to make life awesome.

This banana bread is just the best, bar none. It’s springy and soft and yes, moist. It’s got butterscotch chips in the batter and sprinkled on top, and chopped pecans inside as well. Butterscotch and pecan is one of those genius combos that I always love using.

I hope you have a very happy holiday weekend. I might get motivated to post something in there, but I think the blogosphere is officially on hold, so we shall see. In the meantime, enjoy the fireworks and parades, and have a super happy fourth!

Across the pond, “banoffee” refers to the combination of bananas and toffee, typically in the form of a creamy pie. I must be honest: it’s not my favorite way to do pie. I’d rather hang out with key lime any day.

But then I got to thinking: what if the flavors got put into a different textural context? It turns out that I love banoffee when it’s in a cake. Or to be more specific, a cake I can’t stop eating. Which is fine, because it’s pretty healthy!

It’s taken eight years of mothering to figure out how I want to spend Mother’s Day. Sure enough, Kenny hit the jackpot this year. It wasn’t just that everyone let me have a whole morning to myself, though that was nice. I used it to take pictures for the blog and then I watched episodes of Entourage in bed. That was quite lovely.

And it wasn’t just that Kenny bought me the best box of chocolates ever, either, though that was quite lovely too.

He actually (wait for it) tore one of my meal planning sheets off the notepad I keep on the fridge and worked out the weekly meal plan with the kids. Then they went to the store and bought all the groceries for the plan. I didn’t have to think about what to have for dinner, which is one of my least favorite things to do. I hate that Sundays are synonymous with meal planning.

And he made dinner, too! I found steaks marinating in the fridge and the boy actually grilled vegetables. Like, zucchini and whatnot. If you know Kenny, you realize that’s a step in a new direction, because he’s picky with veggies. And then…he ate the zucchini.

You can be married to a guy for a long time and know him even longer, and he can still surprise you. And give you the best Mother’s Day of your life. Did I mention that swirly frozen margaritas also made their way into the day?

This banoffee cake was my morning snack. It made Mother’s Day even more amazing, and healthy, too. The cake is packed with Greek yogurt, bananas, heart-healthy canola oil and gluten-free oat flour. If you don’t have oat flour you can just use the regular stuff, and that’s fine too!

There are days that are just perfect, and I had it happen this past Sunday. I can’t replicate that for you, but I can give you this cake recipe. It will make any day just a little bit better, and for little to no effort. So act like our friends across the pond and go for banoffee!

The gas light comes on in the car. Your six-month dental checkup comes due. You realize you didn’t pay your credit card bill. Somebody gets the promotion you deserved. Your favorite pair of shoes loses a heel in the middle of the workday. And the bananas lie forgotten on the counter, turning from green to yellow to spotty to brown.

But that last one has a definite upside because all you do is bake it into banana bread. Moist, delicious, banana bread filled and glazed with brown sugar. Just for those days when things aren’t going quite your way!

The other day, we took the kids to a swim center with a three-foot therapy pool. If you’ve never been to one of those, I must recommend it. The water is warm (like in the 80s warm), and the pool is surrounded by hot tubs.

Sadly, I never actually bonded with the hot tubs because I was with my four year-old (who cannot swim), but it felt good to sit with her in the warm water, waves gently lapping to and fro. The pool also had a slide and splash fountains, which means my older kids had a blast.

See, here’s the thing. We’ve been desperately trying to get our children, especially our oldest, to swim. He’s fighting it like nothing else. We’ve been through six rounds of lessons and it’s still not technically happening. At least he’s not doing what he did last summer, which was holding onto the side with a death grip while floating his legs out, screaming, “I’m swimming! I’m swimming!”

Now we’ve got some head under water progress, and I’m waiting for the day when they can all float so I can breathe a little easier. I see families at the pool relaxing and I think, hey, that could be me someday. But somehow I doubt it. No matter how soon or how well my kids swim, I’ll always be that mom squatting at the edge of the pool, eyes darting back and forth at all her spawn. Yes, even when they’re 25. I can only relax at a pool when my kids aren’t there.

So after we all trooped back from the swim center, we had this banana bread waiting for us. It was a good after-pool snack because you know everyone is always starving after a swim. This bread is hearty and doesn’t disappoint.

To make sure everyone could enjoy it, I used gluten-free oat flour as the base. And instead of using just white sugar, I put a great deal of brown sugar into the batter to make it super moist. The top is covered with a buttery, thick brown sugar glaze. It tastes like caramel.

Life is full of inconveniences, but nobody ever complained about the leftover bananas on the counter. Or at least, they shouldn’t. Because they make the sweetest brown sugar banana bread ever. Whether you bake this up for Mother’s Day or just for a random day of the week, it’s a fantastic breakfast treat!

Breakfast used to be such a struggle.

It all came down to the word “should.” While I crave sweet every morning, I told myself that I should be getting my nutrients. In an effort to keep the sugar down, I’d make eggs or oatmeal and hate every bite. Those foods work great for me later in the day, but I just couldn’t get down with it.

Then I discovered the protein-packed smoothie. It was like a dream come true. Not only could I have my sweet breakfast, but it would also keep me full all morning. Plus, controlling the sugar content was pretty much up to me. As soon as this revelation occurred, I began blending up my favorite flavor combinations. And really, what’s better than peanut butter, chocolate and banana in the morning?

The problem with breakfast is that it has to happen quickly for most of us. We’d love to take our time, but reality interferes. My morning routine is pretty set. I get up around four, work out for an hour, throw breakfast together and bring it in the car with me to take to work. I have absolutely no time to sit around, read the paper, and cook something. And the snooze button? Nope, never used that. It seems like a torturous concept to me. Why would you prolong getting up over and over?

My kids are in a similar position when it comes to being rushed. I don’t see them in the morning because my job starts earlier than their school, but they still have to be out the door very early, and Kenny needs to keep it simple. Easy is a must!

When I was growing up, I had cereal pretty much every day. It fed into my sweet cravings, but I always wound up hungry an hour later. That’s no way to live, people.

After several years of messing up my breakfast choices, I learned about protein. After a workout, it’s actually ideal to eat (0r drink) a protein-fueled breakfast. It helps with muscle recovery, and it also helps keep you nice and full through a long morning at work.

Now, my day starts with a protein-packed smoothie just like this one. Carnation Breakfast Essentials® (visit them on Facebook!) is encouraging everyone to adopt nutritious habits this month with their 7-day Challenge. Interested? Here’s the info:

1. Sign up at CarnationBreakfastChallenge.com.

2. Complete a simple yet fun breakfast mission for a chance to win. New prizes will be revealed every day!

3. Come back any day in February to complete missions and see new prizes. The prizes range from a Fitbit to a GoPro and other awesome stuff!

4. Head to your favorite store to purchase a Carnation Breakfast Essentials® Nutritional Product and upload your receipt for five extra entries per day.

You can use the powder to make a smoothie, or if you’re in a hurry, Carnation Breakfast Essentials® also makes ready-to-go bottles. It’s up to you! You can get Carnation Breakfast Essentials® in a variety of flavors (I picked mine up at Walmart, where I can literally find everything I need), so the options are endless. Personally, no morning for me is complete without chocolate, and adding frozen banana chunks and creamy peanut butter just makes everything wonderful!

The key to a good day is starting it off right. I like to do that with exercise and a quick yet nourishing breakfast. What about you? How do you start your day? Share your tips below. Here’s to a great start to an even greater week!