This morning, I crossed an important item off my life bucket list: stand up paddleboarding, or SUP, as it’s known to the cooler masses. It felt really good to face my terror and prevail. More on that in a moment.

I figure that as long as I continue to face the challenges that scare me, it’s okay to ease up in other parts of life. Baking has always been that place of respite for me, and this apple cake is no exception. It’s quick, simple, and slathered in an unbelievable brown butter icing.

A couple of years ago, I started seeing pictures of celebrities in my trashy magazines doing something that looked like so much fun. It was SUP, only I didn’t know anything about it at the time. It just seemed so peaceful: standing up on a board with an oar, bonding with nature or the water or whatever. I didn’t really think it through much more, since I figured it was one of those things that people in L.A. do that people in D.C. don’t have access to.

Last summer, I learned that SUP lessons were available right off the Key Bridge in Georgetown, which is a very frou-frou area of the city. Georgetown is full of expensive shops including, of course, the famous Georgetown Cupcake. Want a hint from a local? Next time you’re in town, head toward Baked and Wired instead. It’s also in Georgetown, and it’s worth the trip.

Anyway, this summer I bit the bullet (or paddleboard) and signed Kenny and me both up for a lesson. We were supposed to go a month ago, but then we had a traumatic tubing incident and my body was too sore to do any SUP action just a couple of days later. Our lesson date was moved to September, and I tried not to think too much about the terror.

Good thing too, guys. I didn’t fully allow myself to realize the horror of our situation until we were on the water, leashed onto the board, being told to stand up and look at the horizon. I had two choices: stay on my knees and whimper, or just woman up and do it. Guess which one I picked?

You’ll be happy to learn that over the course of the two hours on the water, I got up and down several times without falling over once. It was scary, and I’m not going to lie. It was very, very far from being relaxing. But it was worth it, and I’m so glad I did it. I’m also so glad that there was apple cake to come home to.

This cake mixes up in one bowl, and it’s absolutely no-fail. To dress it up a little, I added the icing, which just required some brown butter for flair. To make brown butter, cook the butter in a saucepan over low-medium heat, swirling the butter often, for anywhere between five and 10 minutes, depending on how much butter is in the pan. When the butter starts to darken in color and smell nutty, it’s done.

Not everything in life can be so simple, but baking should not be a place where you feel any stress. Save it for the open water as you’re wobbling around on a SUP. That’s where you can face the real fears!

Apple pie has always been a little bit of a seasonal question mark for me. It comes out at Thanksgiving, so that would suggest that it’s an autumnal food. But then it also comes out for summer potlucks, and that makes it…summer food? Instead of remaining confused, I’ve decided that apple pie is American, delicious, and year-round.

Slab pie is even better. That’s when you bake pie into a square or rectangular pan instead of a pie plate. Nothing is more satisfying than a lovely rectangular slab of apple pie. That is, of course, unless you up the ante. This apple slab pie is covered in Hannah Max oatmeal raisin cookie chips crumble, and it’s impossible to stop eating.

When my son saw me opening a cookie chips bag this morning, his eyes lit up. “Oatmeal raisin? Yay, my favorite!” No, I still don’t understand how this child is related to me. I head straight for the chocolate chip. But while he was busy surreptitiously pulling cookie chips out of the bag as I baked and pretended not to notice, I grabbed a couple too. I’m not normally an oatmeal raisin girl, but these? I can make an exception for these.

The thing is, I’m not sure we ever truly know ourselves. That applies to food preferences, which change over time, and just who we are in general, which changes even more. I used to be all about striving for perfection and being invincible. I thought those were characteristics that a modern woman should have.

Turns out, life and time along with motherhood have been pretty big game-changers. Not only do I no longer want to be perfect, but I think it’s actually a flaw to strive for flawlessness. Good enough is, well, good enough. I say that a lot. And perfect sure is boring. As for being invincible, well, that’s just stupid. We shouldn’t walk around being super vulnerable all the time, sure. But when did seeming completely imperturbable become the thing to do? It can be stronger to show our human side sometimes.

Like, I epic fail in baking. A lot. And these photos were hard to take. So there. I just shared.

Luckily, the recipe today was not an epic fail at all. While I’m not usually the biggest apple pie girl, I could not stop eating this. The bottom crust is made from my five-minute, no equipment needed pie dough. It’s easy and amazing. The middle is apple pie filling. Nope, I’m not going to stand around peeling and slicing in summer. There’s a beach chair outside with my name on it, and life is short. The top is a simple crumble made up of broken oatmeal raisin cookie chips, butter and sugar. That’s it.

Inside of half an hour, the best apple slab pie ever will be in front of you, begging for vanilla ice cream on top. But it’s pretty dang good plain, too. Besides, even though I wasn’t expecting this to be a dessert I ate way too much of, life is fun like that. We might change over time, but that’s a good thing. Our tastes change and so do our expectations of ourselves, and both bring us closer and closer to the elusive question of who, deep down, we really are.

Case in point: my grocery store sells packaged caramel apples from late September through Halloween. They’re delicious. They’re covered in peanuts and I buy two packages a week. It’s so major in my household that my kids get way too excited on my behalf when they see them.

But as soon as the end of October hits, my supply abruptly dries up. The first year that happened, I actually called the company. It was a pretty embarrassing conversation. They told me that they don’t make the caramel apples after Halloween, and I actually begged them to make an exception for me. I offered to pay them more. They very politely refused. And I hung up, realizing I just had one of those crazy lady moments.

When something like that happens, the only feasible solution is to make a cheesecake. Cheesecake is always insane, so you can just be in that crazy place with your dessert. It’s ideal.

This one is a new favorite. It’s easy and the caramel apple topping is to die for. Plus, the cheesecake base itself is skinny. I usually make a skinny base because, let’s face it: even a skinny cheesecake is a decadent splurge.

The caramel topping goes on in the last part of the cheesecake baking, and it’s made primarily out of apple pie filling. There’s also a brown sugar drizzle on top that creates a lovely caramelized finish.

You might want to be careful, though. During one of those crazy moments we all have, you might eat way too much of this cheesecake. So I shared quickly with all my friends. I just wish I could send some to the caramel apple people. I’d feel better about myself if they could just see that I’m not always a maniac.

The problem with the packaged snack cakes is that they are kind of full of really bad stuff. Like that “crème” filling they all boast? Yeah. That’s made of animal fat, or some kind of hydrogenated something. Have it now and then. But we’re not in high school anymore, so eating it every day is not advisable.

How do you make easy snack cake? Well, you need a 9 x 13 pan and you need a recipe that mixes up in one bowl. And if you do it really well, there shouldn’t be much fat or bad stuff involved. Like with this apple cake!

This recipe was initially my mom’s, but I modified it. She loves this cake because it’s easy to make and tastes great. I agree with that, but I cut the oil in half just to see what would happen. Guess what? It worked. I also used apple pie filling instead of the apple slices the recipe initially called for to add more moisture, but not as much fat. And finally, I cut the sugar in half.

I tested this cake out at work, and a colleague had no clue that it had apple pie filling in it. She thought the apples were fresh. So that’s a good thing! I’d much rather use the canned stuff if nobody can tell the difference.

The result is a fantastic after-school treat. You can feel really good about giving this to kids, or about eating it all yourself. Save Little Debbie for a really bad day!

Until about a month ago, my son was a die-hard thumb sucker. He was just super attached to it. And when he didn’t have a thumb in his mouth, his shirt collar worked, too. I was getting tired of all the damp, stretched out shirt collars. Not to mention the thought of orthodontia bills down the road!

Our dentist connected us with a miracle worker I call The Thumb Lady, and now he’s habit-free! And since he’s not putting his thumb in his mouth, he now has space for other things. Like these amazing bars.

If you want an apt description of this dessert, it’s an delicious cross between an apple pie and an apple crisp, but in a bar. With tons of crumbs. Like, enough crumbs to please even the pickiest crumb fiend (ahem, that’s me). The middle layer is made of apple pie filling, which means less effort for you!

In fact, this recipe is pretty user-friendly, start to finish. The ingredients for the crumb base and the bottom crust are one and the same, and get made in a mixer in literally seconds. You could also mix by hand using your fingers or a pastry cutter, but that would take just a few minutes more.

When you’re done, you have a lovely dessert that works great anywhere. I used it for a late-season BBQ dessert, but with fall coming, the possibilities are endless!

Ingredients:

• 1 cup butter, softened to room temperature
• 1 egg
• 2 and 1/4 cups flour
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
• 1 cup oats
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 can apple pie filling

Preheat the oven to 350. Coat an 8 x 8 pan with cooking spray.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, mix the dry ingredients by hand briefly. Then put the bowl on the mixer base and put the butter and egg in the bowl. Beat for 1-2 minutes until the mixture becomes crumbly.

Press half of the mixture into the pan. Spread the apple pie filling evenly over the base. Crumble the remaining dough over the top.

Bake until golden, from 35-40 minutes. Cool and cut into squares. Store in an airtight container.